Dear Dating Mom: Are We Meant to Be Monogamous?

Jessica Bern
8

Dear Dating Mom:

My boyfriend says that humans were not designed to be monogamous. I disagree. Now I'm worried he is going to cheat on me. What is your take on it?

Signed,

One at a Time Please

Dear One at a Time Please:

When your boyfriend was telling you this, he wasn't by chance lying in bed with a Barbie doll was he? I mean, a LIVE one.

Having sex with the same person day in and day out or, as was the case in my marriage, year in and year out (my child was conceived by in vitro, FYI) can get boring, absolutely. Sure there are people and books out there that suggest different ways you can "spice it up." But I, for one, was never very good at playing the role of the "naughty maid" or the "frigid business woman turned sex hungry vixen."

For you, it might be okay, but the idea of even PRETENDING that I like cleaning houses is beyond unappealing to me. Even if the prize for doing so is a trip to the land of "Oh My God" and a good night's sleep, the answer is "no." As far as the second option goes, I haven't held a full-time office job in over 20 years, so the idea of "business woman" would be quite the reach for me ... although "sex hungry vixen" wouldn't be nearly as much of a stretch. Maybe not the "vixen" part. However, if you changed "vixen" to "sweat-pant wearing freelancer," then yeah, absolutely!

Above and beyond anything else, I don't have the energy to pretend to be anything more than me, and even that seems to be taking its toll. If you are really worried your boyfriend is going to cheat on you, then perhaps you should tell him you think it's okay. But only if you're able to find a gorgeous guy to stand there pretending he can't keep his hands off you at the exact moment you make your pronouncement.

Although, I warn you, if the guy is a moron, just make sure he doesn't speak. Give him a lollipop to suck on to keep him busy, or better yet, if your boyfriend tries to talk to him, tell him that your guy is an actor rehearsing for his starring role in the upcoming Paramount film entitled Man of Silence.

Either way, showing up with hottie man would be very interesting indeed as I'd be curious to see whether or not your boyfriend has a change of heart. It's funny what happens when your guy realizes that he's not the only one to benefit from the new rules of the relationship.

Are you a single mom with a question about dating/sex/love? Or do you just want to try to trip Jessica up? Leave her a question in comments or you can write to her directly at bernzee@mac.com.


Image via Fabio Souza

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