About 50 percent of love songs are written about break-ups and the saddest ones always are. For most people, the break-up is a right of passage, something they have to experience on the road to true love and happiness and there are some who insist that a broken heart is one of the most important things we must experience on the road to adulthood.
So what happens when we haven't? What happens when love DOES easily (with apologies to Wes of Bachelorette fame) and we either marry the first person we date or we are always the ones doing the dumping? Is it impossible to become an adult without experiencing a broken heart?
If it is, I am in trouble.
I have had serious heartache, but I have never been dumped. I have never cried myself to sleep at night over a boy or felt like I was not "good enough." My only two major breakups were my fault and my doing. Does this mean I am due?
We see the broken-hearted and dumped in movies all the time - the star of the romantic comedy always has to have one big break-up to remind her what she is missing. Think about Meg Ryan and Sandra Bullock. Where would they be without getting dumped in the first 15 minutes of so many of their movies?
I have comforted friends through breakups and offered a shoulder to cry on and copious amounts of ice cream, but I have never been there myself. Sometimes it bugs me.
It may seem silly, but at my age, I am surrounded by people who have had all kinds of life experience and this is possibly (knock wood) one that I will never experience. And unless my loyal, loving husband suffers some kind of crazy change in personality, there is a high likelihood that is the case.
Break-ups, particularly public ones are curious - Courteney and David, Christina and Jordan, Laura and Ben. When you have never had a painful break-up, it is hard to imagine what that might feel like. I can empathize. I can try to understand. But to really get it, I sense it is something I need to experience.
It may seem crazy to wish for something painful and I really don't. I feel lucky that my love life has yet to turn so sour. But I do sometimes worry that it makes me less a grown-up to have never experienced it. And worse, I worry that everyone has to have it once and so mine is coming.
Do you think a break-up/broken heart is a necessary part of growing up?
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