Ask Dad: What Happened to My Man's Doggie Love?

Andrew Dalton
1

Your troubles don't take the weekend off. And neither does Ask Dad. Let's hear your love stories, happy, sad, and in between.

I've had my dog for about seven years, which is two years longer than I've had my husband. When we were first dating, my now-husband paid a lot of attention to her. Now he acts like she's the cause of everything wrong in the world. He won't let her sleep in our bed anymore, and talks about "sending her to the farm." What's his problem?

Hm. I know it's not socially acceptable to ask this, but has the dog maybe let herself go? Maybe she needs to look in the mirror. Does she wear gray sweats to bed when her shiny coat used to be plenty? Did she put on a few pounds and start falling asleep at 9 since having her last litter?

I'm not saying it's right. I'm just being real here. Maybe she could take a few yoga classes, start wearing more makeup. Has your man been looking longingly at other dogs in the park or at dog pics on the Internet?

I don't know. Maybe if he doesn't love her for the dog she's become, then she's better off without his love.

But I do understand where the man-on-dog love came from in the first place. 

The things we will do for a lady are surpassed only by the things we will do for her animals.

I've had rats crawl up and down my shirt, had my feet scratched bloody as I slept, had dogs lick me at intimate moments when I wasn't comfortable with the thought of them even looking at me. 

And I don't even like animals.

(Except yours, future lady I'm trying to get with. Yours is the only one I adore, baby, I swear.) 

Winning over a lady's pet -- or at least winning their tolerance -- has become the equivalent of winning over her parents. The night before we propose we make sure we get the approval of your Labradoodle.

I'm guessing the same was true of your dude. Your dog was an extension of you, so he loved her, and he wanted to love what you loved so he gave her affection and probably felt it in a very pure way. It sounds false, but it's pretty admirable when you think about it.

Just be glad you had a dog, I'm guessing that's how you've lasted seven years. When a cat has staked out a lady's heart she'll never really let a man in.

So to fixing his seven-year doggie itch could prove tough, but here's a pair of suggestions.

  • Accept that your three-way relationship has changed. I know I've exposed myself already as a non-animal-lover, but the dog really shouldn't be sharing the bed with you guys anyway. Think of this like sleeping naked: the kind of thing that happens early in relationships and eventually gives way to reality even in the best situations.
  • Plan a nice, dog-friendly trip to remember the romance. It sounds facetious but I mean it. Can you take a vacation where he sees the dog running free with oceanic backdrops and the sunset shining on her coat? It may get him rubbing her belly again. And maybe even get her back in your bed. Not that I approve.

 

Image via Flickr/EduardTitov


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