Demi and Ashton Open Marriage: Would It Work for You?

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Open marriage has been all over the press lately, thanks to Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.

According to Brittney Jones, Kutcher's alleged mistress, the two actors have an open marriage and engage in threesomes often.

This is not unheard of. Jenny Block, a writer and author of the book Open, also has an open marriage, something she credits for basically making her a happy person again:

Different people fulfill different wants and needs. It's not that complicated. I am fearful of where we might end up if we don't open ourselves up. People aren't going to stop having affairs. Gays and lesbians aren't going to become heterosexual. Couples will continue to split up. People will continue to seek out alternative paths ...

For Block, open marriage was a path to discovering her true self and sexuality. For others, it's a marriage wrecker.

The biggest road block, of course, is jealousy. For many, this is the reason it would never work. Block suggests that she is just not a jealous person and that seeing her husband happy truly makes her happy.

Also, Block is bisexual and settling into a one-man, one-woman relationship was stifling for her sexuality. The book gives a convincing argument for open marriage and how it might look in a strong union that is full of love and trust.

Of course, sometimes it's just the first step on the road to divorce. My friend S said her mother had an open marriage in the 1970s when it was a trendy thing to try.

The open marriage was my mother's first husband's idea and it broke up when she met my father (the only person she really dated outside her marriage). My mom and dad have been together and monogamous ever since (35 years).

That is always the danger. Sex isn't neat for everyone and once emotions become involved, then it can become blurry.

H has experimented with open marriage and she said the most important thing to know is why you want it:

Is someone not satisfied? Is it out of curiosity? Is it to "spice" up the sex life? The answer for "WHY do we want to try this?" will determine if it's right for that couple.

Of course, that makes sense. Block and her husband wanted it because their marriage was fulfilling, but their sex life wasn't. She was honest about that, which makes her a good candidate. If your reasons are more complicated and involve more emotional ties, it can be a dangerous road to go down.

I'm a big believer in making the rules for your own marriage, for not setting up a one size fits all approach to a union that is full of different personalities and sexual urges. What works for my marriage might not work for yours and vice versa. If Demi and Ashton are engaging in threesomes and have an open marriage, more power to them.

As long as the communication lines are open, I say whatever floats your boat!

Would you ever have an open marriage or try a threesome?

 

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marriage, sexuality, sex

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Christine Blanchard-Finn

"open marriage" is an oxymoron- when you agree to MARRY someone, it is with the intent to spend the rest of your life MONOGAMOUSLY with that ONE person- not whoever your nether regions takes a shine to.

If you want to be open with your sexuality- then don't get married!

Beths... Bethsunshine

What Christine said!!

nonmember avatar jessica

Definition of MARRIAGE:
the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law.
Definition of MONOGAMY
the state or custom of being married to one person at a time
no where in the definition of marriage or monogamy is sex mentioned. sex and love can be two very different things. i love my fiancée very much, we have such an emotional and in-depth relationship that not many people can understand or will ever have in their lives BUT what you are saying is because we have fantasies, are curious about sexuality and want to please each other on a physical level we shouldn't get married? i understand where most are coming from in disagreeing with Block, ive been where you, and most people for that matter are. with past boyfriends i could never have an open relationship, but when you find someone, your true soul mate, someone that knows and understands everything you are on the inside, makes you feel like you are the most important and beautiful creature in the world, someone that you cant go a min wo thinking about, a day wo seeing each other cuz you constantly crave them...then all that physical stuff, is just fun :) will this life be apart of us for the next 50 years, i dont know, but right now we are young and so in love and having fun. so i say live it up, you only get one shot!

nonmember avatar NIP

Here we go again... We always want to take the "easy route" for everything - work, relationships, the way we shop, the quickest route, the least resistance.

Things that are worthy and worthwhile always take effort, patience and time. Those who persevere will usually find that going through trials and tribulations will strengthen the bond and deepen the commitment.

nonmember avatar hazeleyes71

Christine Block ur a genius. If u want 2 sleep around STAY SINGLE. Period. I cannot c open marriage not getting sticky & complicated @ some point. Just stay single & free.

nonmember avatar Andi

I've been in polyamorous (ethically non-monogamous) relationships for 12 years now (the relationships are of 12, 6, and 2 years' duration), and I've never been happier -- I'm not cut out for monogamy, but I'm very well-suited to love more than one person, openly and honestly.

Not everyone is cut out for polyamory or open relationships (mine aren't "open," we've decided to maintain the bonds we have, rather than seeking new lovers), and there's no shame in it -- neither monogamy nor non-monogamy is essentially better or more evolved.

With all that said, I find this Brittney girl to be disgusting -- she's spreading vicious gossip and whoring for publicity, and whether or not Demi and Ashton have an open marriage, it's THEIR marriage and their story to share or not share. She's obviously trying desperately to make money off this story, and whether or not it's even true, Demi and Ashton will have to defend themselves against the speculations of the tabloid press.

She's not behaving ethically in the least -- shame on her.

nonmember avatar Alli

No. The way culture has twisted marriage and made it into something it was never meant to be is truly sad.

nonmember avatar RA Petersen

My fiancée and I tried the idea of an open engagement since we lived four hours apart. Thankfully we pulled the plug on the "open" aspect of the relationship before either of us utilized it, I realized the idea of dating or sleeping with someone other than my fiancée would not only (regardless of what we may have said or agreed on earlier) undermine the relationship we built together but the idea of breaking the vow I will make to her in a few years will undermine me and my morals, and would, regardless of what we may have agreed on, undermine my best friend. As she put it, it would be spiritually damaging... potentially irreversibly so.

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