Ladies, the world's best toothbrush has been discovered. Its secret? You don't use it between those lips ...
OK, so it's technically a vibrator, and one that reviewers over at Athena's Home Novelties call "instant orgasm." That was enough to make me want to run out and buy this thing, but then I took a look.
This may officially be the first vibe you can throw in your suitcase and watch the TSA guy drag out in the middle of the airport without flinching. Even if your dad is standing there when the dolt asks you to turn it on to make sure it's not a bomb.
Look at it:
You'd brush your teeth with that, wouldn't you? It's even got the on/off switch in the right place. And rubber grips for comfort. It's so similar it even has "replacement tips" after you get too vigorous with your, um, brushing.
In fact it looks so much like a toothbrush we almost are afraid to think of how rough it might be on the delicate lady parts. Who wants to think plaque attack when they're jilling off?
The "Celebrator" has two speeds -- on low you're supposed to experience 4,600 oscillations per minute; on high you'll feel 9,600 oscillations per minute. So I asked a friend who has one (and who shared this toothy tip -- bless her) how it works. Her words?
"First time I ever had multiple orgasms. It's never leaving my bedside table."
Oh, and what happens when her kid goes poking through said beside table?
"He asked me why my toothbrush was in there. I told him Mommy brushes her teeth before bed so her teeth don't rot out of her head. Best threat ever."
Mark this one your vacation boyfriend.