10 Things I Don't Want to Hear My Husband Say

Love & Sex 127

husband and wives

My husband and I have been married for 10 years and a couple for 5 more. After all this time, it still astounds me that he doesn't understand what I want to hear from him and want makes me want to run screaming from the house like a lunatic. I'm planning on plastering this on the fridge, lest he forget again.

What I don't want to hear from you, my darling husband ...

1. Details of how successful or unsuccessful your trip to the bathroom was. Just don't go there, please. Call your brother; that's what he's there for.

2. That you didn't like the dinner I slaved over all day long. Just smile, feed it to the dog under the table and shut the hell up.

3. How annoying you find the kids, three seconds after walking in the door. I've been with them all afternoon. I know.

4. The dirty joke you heard at work. Chances are, I won't think it's funny. Call your best friend. That's what he's there for.

5. That there are no clean socks. I have been doing laundry all freaking day. I have no idea why the basket is still full and I have no idea where your socks are. Wear a mismatched pair. Wear a dirty pair. Don't wear any at all. Just don't expect me to find you any.

6. That you think I look fat. I don't ever really want to know that, even if I ask. Tell me the color is wrong or it's not as flattering as it could be. Anything but fat.

7. That I haven't changed in two and a half days. I know. I can smell myself. I'll do something about it when I'm good and ready.

8. That your head hurts and your throat tickles and you are really sleepy. Call your mother. That's what she's there for.

9. That you're in the mood. Just go for it, or don't go for it, but I'm too exhausted to discuss it.

10. That you managed to wrangle all of the kids out of the house, to the museum, out to lunch and to the bathroom with no minor catastrophes. I like to think I'm the only one who can handle them, thank you very much.


What do you not want to hear from your husband or partner?

dating, romance tip, turn-offs, love


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Tara Dukaczewicz

I don't want to hear how I forgot to re-register my car and have been driving an unregistered car since august. the cars are your job.  unless you want to take over the doctor appt's dentist visits, the twice annual wardrobe and shoe shopping, the parent -teacher conferences, the weekly grocery store nightmare, getting them ready for school at the crack of dawn, and all the diaper changes and feedings. and YOU can clean the damn house too, I just scrubbed the baseboards in the kitchen ON my hands and knees while you were snoring in the bed that I'll have to make later.  Oh and I just shovelled the walkway and excavated the garbage cans too. sorry, feeling bitter about the damn car this morning.


#7 and #9 made me laugh out loud......Love it.

Kali Capps

I don't want to hear what "we" have to do around the house and in the yard when he really mean "me" and what he's not going to do, but instead bitch about from his reclyiner all weekend long. And Tara - I'm with you on the trash thing. I'm all kinds of liberated, but it's aman's job to take out the trash! Not that he does ... but it is so his job!

issia... issianemmi

I so agree woth Kali. I took the trash out once and NOW it is my job every week. Besides cleaning etc and everything else to do with our children. Saturdays I am with the girls(6 and 8) All day while he is at home, reading in bed doing nothing at home in peace and quiet. He can't handle being with them for longer than 4 hours. OMG

and #9 don't get me started:-) 

hotic... hoticedcoffee

I get tired of hearing the phrase "we're on a budget, you know".  Yes, Darling - we are, and I stick to it - just because you don't think we need something I bought, like groceries, doesn't mean I blew the budget - like you did, on the latest stupid money-suck techno-gadget that you don't use.....

Just2... Just2busymom

#1 for me is  "What's for dinner?"  on the weekends.  After I had dinner on the table when he got home every day during the week. 

nonmember avatar missy

Gamer husband, I don't care how cool this new one is, or how you play it. I see dollar signs and time that should be spent helping here or playing with your kids. I have to justify every penny, and you spent a bunch on new parts and stuff you guilted me in to. So Excuse me if I buy sometiong "extra" like lunch while I'm out, or kids clothes, or pizza for dinner cuz I can't deal and I know you won't cook.

Wow, that felt good to get off my chest. sorry for the rant, I'm blaming the baby hormones.

Theda K.

Okay, I have no husband, and your list makes me a little happy that I don't. Sounds like an extra kid (with the exception of a few, of course).

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