21 Strategies to Ditch Your Bad Blind Date

Jeanne Sager

dinner dateIf you think the make or break moment of the relationship is the first time you get into bed with someone, roll it back a few paces, honey. Whether this person is even going to make it there happens in the restaurant at that first dinner date.

And that can mean finding out the guy is such a creep you want to RUN.

Or mangling things so badly his witty post-check banter is more like "OKNiceMeetingYou. Gottagobye."

Want to get out of a really bad blind date? Do any of these. Then again, if he does any of these, run:

1. Tell your date you got fired from your last job. For sexually harassing a colleague.

2. Check the sports score. Every 5 minutes. Then every 2. Then just get up and move closer to the bar TV. You might as well watch the game anyway.

3. When your cell phone rings, say, "Sorry, I gotta get this. It's my husband/wife."

4. Ask if you can get under the table and suck his toes.

5. Actually get under the table and suck his toes.

6. Hit on the waitress/waiter/bartender.

7. Tuck your napkin into your collar like a bib (unless you're eating lobster and have one of those actual bibs).

8. Answer your cell phone for anything other than the babysitter or a 2-second OMG, it's my boss and I would never do this.

9. Steal food from his plate.

10. Try to feed him.

11. Ask how much he makes.

12. Tell him you make so much more.

13. Chew with your mouth open.

14. Don't bother at least offering to split the check.

15. Fart. Often. With no hint of embarrassment.

16. Burp. Loudly. Blow it in his face for good measure.

17. When the waiter returns with his leftovers, take the box like it's yours.

18. Stare at a spot directly above his head for the entire meal.

19. Ask the waiter what the most expensive thing is on the menu, then ask him if he's buying.

20. Text anyone without explaining WHY you're doing it.

21. Talk about your ex the whole time. How much you love them and how great and gorgeous they are.

What are the worst things a guy has done on a date with you?

Image via The Udall Legacy Bus Tour/Flickr

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