Dear Dating Mom: How Do You Define Cheating?

Jessica Bern
10

Dear Dating Mom:

When does txt/DM/IM/web cam turn into cheating? You never physically have sex, but where's the line?

Signed,

I Hate the Internet

Dear I Hate the Internet:

In my experience, when a man is texting/IMing or using a web camera to communicate with another woman, you'll find that "the line" lies in very different places depending upon whose spouse or partner you happen to be talking to.

Some choose to stick it out until there is actual physical contact between their partner and another party. Even then, some will continue to stay around because it turns out the other party wore dangly things from her nipples and went by the name Candy Cane Love and thus is not in any way in competition for the title of "wife" or even "mistress." That being said, had Candy Cane been wearing those dangly nipple things, chinos, a cardigan, and driving a Sienna mini van, well then, I'm guessing it would be a whole different story.

Then again, certain women would seem to be okay with Ms. Candy Cane and her kinfolk, no matter what she was wearing or driving, but would draw the line if the partner were to tell her his dalliance involved a hot tub, a trip to Vegas, and "Beth," her best friend from spin class. You know the one who lost all her baby weight DURING her c-section? Yeah, THAT Beth.

Then there are some, who, like me, would just be pissed at the precious time my boyfriend wasted sitting at the computer when he should've been replacing the broken tile on the kitchen counter, re-grouting the bathtub, or at the very least taking my kid somewhere far away so that I could sit at home in peace and eat my weight in Chocolate Whoppers.

Ultimately, you have to decide what's comfortable for you, and if you have children, you need to be extra careful. No one wants to risk their kids walking in asking for help with their homework only to find mom or her partner with their hand down their pants while simultaneously running their tongue down the center of their computer screen. Quite frankly, that's not a scene that I, as an adult, would want to walk in on either, especially if the computer my partner was "sullying" turned out to be my brand-new laptop.

Seriously, if I saw my partner doing a tongue dance with my MacBook Pro, I wouldn't care if it was a picture of a lampshade on the other side of that suckfest, he would immediately become the boyfriend who lived at:

Motel 6

I could care less where, USA

901whatever

Capish? "Fortunately" for me, I don't have a boyfriend and therefore don't have to worry about such things. However, beware that as I write this, I am heading to a movie by myself and will return to my empty home afterwards to discuss the highlights of the film with my dog.


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