Big Daddy Kane once said, "Pimpin' ain't easy." And it isn't. But then, neither is marriage.
Take two people with vastly different backgrounds and put them together "for life." Add in monogamy (in a traditional marriage), some kids, a dog, money, two careers, and there's bound to be friction. There's also bound to be love and intensity and, in the best case, a deep, enduring friendship as well. But it's the hard stuff people talk about.
For most of us, it's a give and take and push and pull, and most of the time, we're just doing the best we can. But sometimes we have to take a step back and really ask ourselves:
Would I want to be married to me?
I can honestly say I have my bad points and they are many. I can be controlling and jealous and bossy. But generally speaking, I laugh a lot with my husband and participate in half (probably more) of the childcare and at least half of the housework. I work hard to keep myself attractive and fit so that he likes what he sees. I pay a lot of attention to his days, ask him about work, and generally feel like his successes and triumphs (like big promotions and raises) are mine as well, and I act accordingly: going to dinner to celebrate and asking a lot of interested questions.
So, yes, I would be married to me. Minus a little bit of the crazy.
I asked this question of various friends and got various answers:
"No. Couldn't handle the snoring. But I would drunkenly hook up with myself," my friend J, 35, said about himself.
"I get on my own nerves way too much," S, 33, said about herself. "Definitely hook up but probably nothing long term."
A, 33, agreed: "I'm way too type-A. I think I'd get exhausted by me, but I'd ask me to design a garden, create a household budget, cook some vegan food together, and then get drunk and hook up."
So, there we have it. Three very different perspectives. Truthfully, no one knows why some marriages work and some don't. I feel blessed that my husband and I grow and change together and that he's willing to put up with my crazy and I'm willing to put up with his.
Marriage is awesome when we let it be.
So, how about you? Would you marry yourself?