Toilet seatDoes your spouse do something on a daily basis that annoys the heck out of you?

It doesn't matter how much you love him, how long you've been married, or how good of a father he is. He can be the most generous, caring person.

But he's only human.

As his wife, you have to pick and choose your battles. Pick one or two, or maybe even five, of his bad habits and try to change them. But remember, it's not easy to teach an old, snoring Mastiff new tricks. But you can have fun trying.

Here are the 10 top annoying things husbands do. And some helpful hints to try to break him of them:

1. Annoying habit: Chews with his mouth open even when you're eating at someone else's house.

Fix: Buy a pot-bellied pig and sit it at the table with you so your husband can see what he looks like. If you don't want to purchase the pig, secretly videotape him at the dinner table. One evening, when he thinks the two of you are going to watch some porn, play the video montage you created so he can see what he looks like.

2. Annoying habit: He snores like there's a big giant drooling Mastiff in bed next to you.

Fix: Buy him some Breathe Right strips, have him do a nightly nasal saline rinse, or send him to the ENT doctor. Maybe he has a deviated septum. If all else fails, get earplugs.

3. Annoying habit: Picks his fingernails, sometimes with a folded up dollar bill.

Fix: Every time you see him picking, start singing, "I'm in the money." And then keep the money. That will start to get annoying.

4. Annoying habit: Mixes plaids and stripes. And thinks it makes him look hip.

Fix: Go through his closet and arrange his clothes for him in a Garanimals-like manner.

5. Annoying habit: Leaves the toilet seat up. Every single time.

Fix: Sorry, this annoying habit is older than the stars. And I don't think that there is anything that can be done to stop it, other than gluing down the seat.

6. Annoying habit: Leaves his dirty clothes on the floor next to his bed. Or next to the hamper. Or on the floor of his closet.

Fix: Just don't wash anything that doesn't make it to the dirty clothes hamper. When he runs out of clean underwear, tell him you washed everything that was in the hamper.

7. Annoying habit: Leaves his dirty dishes not in the dishwasher and not even in the sink. But right next to the sink. Every single night.

Fix: Treat it like the laundry and let his dishes pile up. Eventually, he'll get it.

8. Annoying habit: Imitates the Geico Insurance Guy all the time. "Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance?" And it's not even a good imitation.

Fix: Constantly do your imitation of Flo, the Progressive Insurance girl. And don't do it well. He may actually think the role play is sexy and propose a merger of the two companies. Then the habit won't be so annoying.

9. Annoying habit: Leaves his shaved facial hair all over the sink and bathroom counter.

Fix: Collect the shavings for a period of time, then glue them to your chest one night before the two of you go out. The gross-out factor will put an end to that.

10. Annoying habit: Sits on the couch watching sports and pretends he's listening to you. And says "uh huh" every once in a while.

Fix: Tell him you're going shopping and out to dinner. See how long it takes for him to realize you're gone. When he calls and asks where you are, you can honestly say, "I told you I was leaving."

Is this list missing one of your husband's annoying habits?

 

Image via Jennifer Cullen