His Name Or Yours? The Married Name Solution for The Wishy-Washy

April Peveteaux

taking your husbands nameAs Portia de Rossi became DeGeneres, it got me to thinking about the whole name change issue -- and this time, no gender wars!

While it does seem wildly unnecessary for Portia to ditch her de for a De, we all make dramatic changes in the name of love. Well, most of us do. Some of us want to have our cake and eat it too. Like me.

When my boyfriend became my fiance, he casually mentioned he might like it if I changed my name. But no pressure, as he's one of those modern guys and totally gets it if, as a modern woman, I didn't want to follow that antiquated tradition.

As soon as he asked -- and I knew it was important to him -- I gave it some thought. Also, whoopsie, a few months later discovered I was pregnant so now we had the whole "family" issue to sort out as well.

I came up with the perfect solution to maintain my girl powerness while creating a cohesive way to ID the gang.

We all have a man's last name. I was given my father's surname when I was born, but even if I'd been given my mother's maiden name, it was her father's name. So until we all start making up our own names you're stuck with some dude's name. The question then becomes, which man's name would you like to have?

Rather than saddle the kids with a hyphen, I agreed to change my last name so we would all be Goldmans, and my husband might feel a bit warm and fuzzy. Of course, if you're reading this post you might notice a lack of 'Goldman' on my byline. I kept Peveteaux as a professional name, which was a professional name I chose years ago when I also made the decision to take back the Cajun spelling of my Anglophile'd 'Peveto.' 

So basically, I did choose my own name. Twice.

Doctor appointments, school paperwork, taxes -- I'm all Goldman, all the time. But if you want to talk to me on the record about Ann Coulter or cookies, you talk to the Peveteaux. 

Not only do I feel like I've lost nothing, it's almost indulgent to have two surnames when most people go around with only one. Fancy! Furthermore, I made my future husband happy, even though he probably never even thinks about it anymore. Which (as long as no one starts calling me "Mrs.") is more than worth giving up the goods.

What's your married name solution?


Image via 2bsquareddesigns/Flickr

Read More