The marriage is over. The divorce papers are signed. Your belongings are split up and child custody is settled. But now what are you supposed to do with your engagement and wedding rings?
Well, you're definitely not going to wear them again. Are you? And while your unadorned finger may feel odd for a while, you can always get something cool off of the Home Shopping Network. Or a mood ring.
But the old rings? They're your rings to do with as you see fit. You have a few choices. And no, throwing them into the ocean is not one of them. Though it may feel really great at the moment, it benefits no one. And you'll regret it later.
Here are your 3 options:
1. Give Them Back
Give them back to your now-former spouse? Hell no. Though he may ask, why should he get the rings back? So he can give them to his new girlfriend? The only way he should get them back? If they are heirlooms passed down through the generations on his side of the family. Then that would be the "right" thing to do.
2. Sell Them
You could definitely sell them. You won't get near what was paid for them. But then you could use the funds for:
- A down payment on a sports car? Maybe. That immediate gratification would feel really good. Plus you would look great tooling around town in a red convertible.
- A "Mommy Makeover" to lift your breasts, lipo out the extra fat around your thighs, and give you back that flat stomach you may have had when you were 20. After all, going back out into the cruel world of dating isn't going to be easy.
- A deposit into your kids' college funds? This is the long-term feel-good thing to do. And the kids will appreciate it when they're older and successful because they graduated from college. Then they can take care of you in your twilight years.
3. Keep Them
Hold on to the rings. No need to make any rash decisions. And who knows, maybe they'll appreciate in value over the next 20 years. In the meantime, you can:
- Give them to your daughter when she gets engaged. Unless you're superstitious and think that the jewelry is cursed.
- Give them to your son to give to the love of his life. But know that if he gets divorced, chances are his ex-wife will keep the ring.
- Have the rings repurposed if it's no too emotionally charged for you. The stones can be used to make a necklace, a bracelet, or even another ring, like a cocktail ring.
- Hide them away in a closet as a reminder of what was: both the good things and the not so good things. And every once in a while go sit in the closet, visit them, and be happy to be where you are in your life. And if you ever really need the money, you can still sell them.
If you're divorced, what did you do with your wedding and engagement rings?
Image via 3BL Media/Flickr
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Comments (11)
I vote for hanging onto them. My husband's parents are divorced. His mom gave her rings back to her dad. Hubby asked for them when we got engaged. He used the diamonds from them to design my wedding set. Very sentimental and extra special.
My mom kept her rings and gave them to me. I still have the wedding band, the engagement ring was lost when my hubby (then boyfriend) borrowed it to bring to the jeweler to get the size of my finger! Ooooops!
Gave em back (the diamonds were crappy-I could see carbon spots-then went and bought myself a nice diamon solitaire I wore on my right hand and called it my "I don't need a man to get a ring" ring (the diamond was wayyyyy better)-That ring I have for my daughter to wear in the same fashion til she finds the right man-women need not depend on men for diamonds (course it didn't hurt that when I remarried my husband worked in fine jewelry and I went from a solitaire to a 7 side stepped tension set ring and a band with round n baguettes-lol....LOTS more diamonds!!!)
My mother saved her ring and gave it too me... divorce or not, it was a symbol of the love my parents had when they created me. I'm doing the same for my daughter. I'll save them till she's grown in case she wants it as a memento or to use the diamonds for herself in a different piece of jewelry.
My engagement ring was a family heirloom from his side, so I gave it back, asking that he give it to one of our daughters if one of them wants it. I just put away the wedding band.
My parents divorced, and my mom gave me the engagement ring from my dad. I have a ring a former very serious boyfriend gave me, it was his 'engagement ring' at the time, a beautiful ring that is not a diamond, and I am now married and understand it's not appropriate to wear the ring, so I am having the stone removed and getting a sparkly, new, prettier stone put in its place. Yay!
I am going through a divorce right now and I wear the band on my left hand and since my actual engagement ring doesn't look like a typical wedding ring I'm going to get it resized and wear it on a different finger. It's really beautiful and I don't want it to just sit in a cabinet or box for years.