Season 11 (perpetual) Bachelor Brad Womack will come back to ABC for the second time to try to find love in Season 15. Because it went too well the first time.

Let's all recall that Womack was the man who broke both Deanna's and Jenni's hearts on national television. Let's also recall that Womack is 37. If he hasn't found love already in his hometown of Austin, Texas, and he wasn't able to find it on television, then it probably won't work this time, either.

Is ABC like a desperate older woman who will believe anything a man tells her or are they specifically capitalizing on Womack's special brand of toxicity? Any woman who has dated long enough has met at least one Perpetual Bachelor (PB).

He may seem all sweet and marriageable, but walking down the aisle with him is about as likely as a calorie-less chimichanga that actually tastes good.

Here are a few signs that the man you are with is a PB:

  1. He has a contract with the local liquor store for a new keg every Thursday afternoon.
  2. The only ritual he keeps is Monday Night Football with the guys. That means no 9  to 5 job, and definitely no hygiene regimen.
  3. He doesn't say words starting with the letters "M-A," ever.
  4. He's never met your parents and doesn't want to. When you bring up Sunday night dinner, he says he has to clip his dog's toenails.
  5.  He tells you that you look better when you don't wear rings, on any finger, ever.
  6. If he loves the Brad Paisley song: "I'm Gonna Miss Her."
  7. He leaves his profile up on a dating website for "networking" purposes.
  8. His dog sleeps in bed with him ... you have to go home.
  9. He says every married man he meets "seems depressed."
  10. He returns anything you leave at his house the next day.
  11. He moves 3,000 miles away.
  12. He's pushing 40 and still has his mom do his laundry and eats hot pockets for dinner.
  13. He maxed out his credit card to buy the "totally awesome" new video game console and then called in sick to work to play it 48 hours straight.
  14. He thinks a carat is a carrot and would not eat one either way.
  15. He has heart palpitations at the sight of a velvet ring box.

If you find yourself with a PB, run, do not walk. There is almost nothing more toxic for women.

Godspeed.

Have you ever known a PB?

 

Image via YouTube