Dear Dating Mom: Are One Night Stands During Divorce a Bad Idea?


Dear Dating Mom:

One-night stands when going through a divorce. Sometimes you just need to get laid. But what are the implications? -- Signed, You Can Leave Now

Dear You Can Leave Now:

Well first of all, let me congratulate you on “getting some.” Health wise, to me, it’s just as good for you as a workout at the gym only better, because I for one cannot recall a time when I was on an elliptical writhing and yelling out, “Don’t stop. Oh my God, don’t stop!”, so there is THAT.

Second, my condolences on your divorce unless of course he was a lying, cheating douche-bag, and then all I can say is “you go girl!” 

CUE: Me giving you a fist pump, my fist missing your fist by a mile, and both of us ending up looking like two of the uncoolest people on the planet.

But I digress.

When your sole intention is to rent out someone’s body for a brief period of time, I for one cannot see the downside. Well, unless, of course, his body’s version of “brief” is really “mere seconds” and, well, that’s a whole other topic that I won’t touch on now.

I know for me, the last thing I wanted after I divorced my ex and his mother was to be in another relationship. The fact is, sometimes a person really does just need to get laid, and trust me, if I could’ve stopped the men I was with from talking while it was happening, all the better. But you know guys, always wanting to chit chat … geez, and I’m telling you, if I heard the line, “Don’t worry, it’ll get bigger” one more time, well ...

Now, I would be remiss if I didn’t say that of course you have to be careful. I would always recommend using a condom. I know a lot of men say they don’t like it. I guess I wouldn’t either if I had to walk in a drugstore and ask the clerk if she has any petite sizes in the back. I would think that could be a bit, well, embarrassing, to be sure, but that is not your problem.

Bottom line, to get serious with someone right after you've left your marriage isn't a good idea -- at least I don’t think so. Now, I could just be saying that because coincidentally, the only person that has inquired about my long-term relationship plans goes by the screen name "buckaroojew," but still, it’s probably better to wait.

The wounds need to heal, the money divided, the custody schedule planned, never mind the time you’re going to spend trying to find someone to take down his mother. All those things need to be dealt with first. However, if while doing so, you need a moment to feel beautiful and desirable again, then either find a vibrator that can also hug you or get yourself a man and have a wonderful evening.

Are you a single mom with a question about dating/sex/love? Or do you just want to try to trip Jessica up? Leave her a question in comments or you can write to her directly at

dating, breakups, romance tip, dating mom


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

KatieP. KatieP.

Best Article Ever on this site!!!!!! . Funniest one too.

tempe... tempest26

I would just add - if your divorce is AT ALL contentious, you might not want to do anything your soon-to-be ex can use against you in court. Especially if you have kids. It's not right but it's not worth a risk either. Just a thought.

Tiffany Sanford Romero

Hilarious. Still laughing at the image of fist pumping...

nonmember avatar Jack

if I could’ve stopped the men I was with from talking while it was happening, all the better

One of the advantages to being male is that we have a couple of ways to quiet down all that talking. ;)

And it just sucks to have that lady at the counter announce over the loudspeaker that you are in there to purchase a pack of Tiny Tims.

Nap Warden

Funny stuff!

Neil Kramer

"What are the implications?"

You get laid.

Debbie Anderson

I once had a very special relationship with my elliptical, so I don't appreciate the implication that it doesn't give you orgasms.

Carol Steele

The problem is that you might be looking for something not-serious and still manage to get involved with someone who wants to be serious. Happened to me. All those times I broke up with him? Not pretty.

nonmember avatar yogurt

Instead of a pre-nup, this makes me think someone needs to devise a pre-fup. A non-binding, non-compete clause of some sort for just this sort of post-divorce occasion. Trouble is, I would probably need to present one to myself, i.e., One night only, no sad sack of sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring ... Got that self?

1-10 of 23 comments 123 Last