You're walking down a dark street and hear a single set of footsteps behind you. You turn and get a quick glance of a man wearing a trench coat. You walk faster. He does too.
You turn down a dark alley and he catches up to you. He pushes you against the wall and you have rough, passionate sex. When it's over, you walk out of the alley, never to see him again.
Is this one of your sexual fantasies?
If it is, you're not alone. Sexual fantasies are a normal part of our sexuality and can play an important role in a healthy and fulfilling sex life by inducing sexual desire and arousal. A kind of cerebral foreplay.
Fantasies can be used in one of two ways:
They can give you an outlet to mentally explore your sexual curiosities and desires without the consequences of reality. No judgements, no risks.
Or you can share them with your partner. Sharing some of your fantasies can bring you closer to your partner and increase your intimacy. And even acting out some of your fantasies with your partner can help up the intensity of your sex life.
Here are 5 common sexual fantasy themes:
Domination is about power and control, forcing the other person to do what you say. A common domination fantasy? The teacher and the misbehaving student who needs to be punished. She keeps him after school for detention. It's just the two of them in the classroom. She gets her ruler out and teaches him a lesson.
An Anonymous Tryst
Sex with a stranger, like in the scenario above, is another popular fantasy. Anonymous sex allows you to be someone different. Maybe bolder or more passionate. And when it's done, you just walk away.
Submission fantasies involve no guilt because you are obeying someone else's orders. These fantasies are popular because you can mentally explore different types of sex that might be considered "dirty." For instance, being tied up and whipped or being forced to do a sexual act that you would never do in reality.
Exhibitionist fantasies can revolve around having sex in a public place or dressing in a more revealing way than you would in reality, like wearing a short skirt and going without underwear. Whatever it is you're doing, the fear of getting caught or being seen can be a huge turn-on and an adrenaline booster.
Three Is Not a Crowd
Having a threesome, whether the additional person is a man or another woman, is also a common fantasy theme. Three sets of hands, three mouths. The visual of the multiple combinations possible with three people engaging in sex at one time can be very arousing.
Do you share any of these fantasies? Have you ever acted on them?
Image via Roomic Cube/Flickr