It was October of 2004, when in a span of two weeks, I asked for a divorce (and got a prompt "no problem"), lost a lucrative paying job, and my vibrator broke. The sad part is that to this day, I'm not totally sure which one upset me the most.
After my ex left, or as I prefer to put it, went to live on the curb whence I kicked him to, I suddenly found myself a single mother of a 15-month-old little girl. At the time, I was a successful commercial actress and prior to that had been a stand-up comic. Unfortunately, both left me ill prepared to find my way through this new world of love, sex, and dating from which I had been absent for quite some time.
Instead, I had to learn "on the job," and for the last three years have posted my results on my own personal blog called BernThis. It's filled with videos and stories I've "acquired" over the last six years, as I have become somewhat of an expert in:
Thinking I am in love
Thinking he is in love with me (though it's clear he is not)
Swearing I'll never date again
Wishing I were dating
Signing up for dating websites
Signing off of dating websites
Wondering why he didn't call
Asking him to not call me so much
Surviving sexual dry spells that would rival even the dust bowl.
Then there is "projectfindahusband," which I began on Twitter. I raised money from my followers to join Match.com and in return have tweeted about every heartache, nightmare, and hilarious moment of my search for the man I want to spend the rest of my life with or at least the next six months.
Now, I'm going to pass on all this knowledge through an advice post that I will be writing once a week called "Dear Dating Mom." All you have to do is send any questions you might have about how to navigate the world of sex, love, and dating as a single mother in the comments section or to me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org. I will provide you with up to the minute information that could only come from someone who is out there, you know, taking one for the gipper or something like that.
Anyway, best case scenario, you end up finding someone and I get his even better looking brother. Worst case scenario, you will at least know that you are not alone or, even better, that your life is far superior to my own, which, as far as I'm concerned, is a win/win for every ... okay just for you but hey, "yippee!!" right?
So don't be shy, ask away and, if you feel the urge, send money as well.