My Husband Does a Lot, But He Refuses to Do THAT!


dirty dishesPicture this: It's late at night. Time for me to go to bed.

As I head up the stairs, something catches my eye. It's a dish in the sink. Oh no, not one dish, but two plus a cup and some silverware. Left there by my husband. After I had already cleaned up the whole kitchen after dinner.

My pulse quickens and I mutter under my breath, "What am I? The maid?"

Then as fast as you can say "Rumpelstiltskin," I put the offensive dishes in the dishwasher and head to bed, mildly annoyed.

Okay, I admit it. I shouldn't be annoyed.

My husband is the primary breadwinner for our family. He owns a restaurant and works long, physically challenging hours. And lives with my kids.

His hard work benefits not just me but our entire family, which consists of my two kids and his one. I work part-time so I can be home with the kids when they get out of school. He and I travel a lot both with and without the kids. Life is good, even better than good. It's pretty fantastic.

I have asked him a few times, in the last couple of years, to please clean up his late night dishes. By the time he gets home, poor guy, I've already put the dinner dishes away, wiped down the counters, and dried the pots and pans. And left nothing in the sink. The kids are in bed and I'm in my pajamas.

But it's not like he was out whooping it up with the guys. He wasn't there because he was at WORK!

So what's with the quibbling over a few dishes left in the sink at night? Shouldn't I happily clean up after him?

One of the benefits of getting older is that I've become more introspective, which saves on the therapist's bills. So I've given this issue of mine some thought.

And decided that that's exactly what it is: My issue. And I need to get over my old compulsive self. What does it matter if there are a few things left in the sink overnight?

And if it really bothers me, I should just put them in the dishwasher for him and be done with it. No annoyance. No problem. It's the least I can do for my hard working, good cooking husband.

Okay. Done. I'm over it. At least until tonight.

Do you have a pet peeve with your husband? How do you deal with it?


Image via miss pupik/Flickr

marriage, relationships, chores


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leahm... leahmbennett

This sounds so much like me! I can relate to the dishes and underwear left on the floor.

sstepph sstepph

Clothes on the floor! UUUGH

hotic... hoticedcoffee

The dishes are my husband's responsibility, and he does them every night - but what makes me INSANE is that he waits until right before he's going to bed to do them, which is usually well after I go to bed. So from the time we finish dinner, I have to deal with a sink and counter full of dirty dishes.  Can't stand it, but I absolutely refuse to do it myself because it's literally the ONLY household chore that's completely his responsibility.

Sometimes when it's really getting under my skin, I go a few days "forgetting" to unload the dishwasher during the day.  So when he finally goes to load it, usually long after I'm asleep, he gets the unpleasant surprise of a washer full of clean and nowhere to stuff the dirty ones.  I keep hoping he'll figure out that if he took care of the mess earlier, he'd be able to tag me in to empty for him, but it hasn't worked.

LadyJ... LadyJessica4715

Eh, let it go. It's only dishes.

My husband complains that the kids are always leaving their wet towels or cups in their rooms.

Yet, in the same spot on the floor everyday, are his socks from the night before.

I can't do anything but just chuckle to myself.

nonmember avatar allboysIf this

If this issue had been put to rest I doubt you would be criticizing your husband who you obviously love dearly for the world to see. At the end of the day how many hours have you put into the care of your family? Probably many. If you have asked your husband repeatedly to simply put his dishes away and waking up to a clean house is important to you and him not respecting your wishes in this matter makes you feel like "what am I the maid?", you should take this issue up with him. It bothers you enough to bring it to the attention of the nation give him enough respect to make it clear to him just how important this actually is to you so he has a clear understanding of how he is making you feel every single time he leaves the dishes in the sink.
If it's a big deal to you it's a big deal.


My husband does all the cooking and yard work and pays the bills, while I do the dishes, laundry and keep the house tidy.  ALTHOUGH....the chores he is responsible for, particularly cooking, he takes in no consideration what it takes to clean up the heaping mess.  He lets pots boil over on accident, but doesn't care about  the mess it makes on the stove, he will deep fry under a cabinet and the cabinet gets greasy, he will sprinkle salt and pepper from 10 feet about the dish so that he makes sure he salt and peppers the entire counter top and floor with it.  He makes outstanding meals, but there are times that I question if it's worth it.   He also leaves his clothes all over the bedroom floor, and there is usually a hamper.  He also wouldn't be cought dead doing laundry, running a vaccuum cleaner or tidying up just to suprise me.  I could give a rats ass about flowers.  Clean the house and that would be the most amazing gift to a wife/mom of two boys. 

nonmember avatar banisre

My husband has abandon me and the kids for the the past 8months now, and refuse to come back because he was hold on by a woman whom he just met, for that, my self and the kids has been suffering and it has been heel of a struggle, but I decide to do all means to make sure that my family come together as it use to, then I went online there I saw so many good talk about this spell caster whose website is so I had to contact him and in just 5days as he has promised, my husband came home and his behavior was back to the man i got married to. I cant thank the spell caster enough what what he did for me, i am so grateful.

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