Absence Makes the Heart Grow ... Desperate?

Jennifer Cullen

Colorado mountainsI spent too much time apart from my husband this summer.

And I never thought I would say that.

I consider myself to be a pretty independent person. I don't need to be with my husband all of the time. I believe time apart is good for a relationship. He works a few nights a week and also has a guys' night out one night a week. I'm busy hanging out with my kids, going to their different activities and sporting events.

(Second marriage rule: He doesn't have to go to all of my kids' events. And vice versa.)

But this summer, we were apart for 27 out of 77 days. Thirty-five percent of our summer. A record for us.

We're a Brady Bunch-esque type of family. My two kids, his one. And we each took trips alone with our kids. He went to Alaska with his daughter. I went to Colorado with my kids. And that was great. I think it's important to spend time alone with our respective kids.

But then he took a trip with a friend and I took a trip with a friend. And the days apart just added up. I missed our closeness and intimacy. Not just physically but emotionally, too. Saying "I love you" and "I miss you" repeatedly over a cell phone only takes you so far.

And now I have the answer to the age-old question: "Does absence makes the heart grow fonder?" Maybe for the first couple of days. After that it just makes the heart grow lonely.

I guess I should feel lucky that I missed him. And that I learned how great reunion sex is -- like make-up sex but without the fighting.

How much time apart is too much for your relationship?


Image via Jennifer Cullen 

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