I decided to do a little research on mental orgasms over the weekend because I don't have much else to do with my time. (Other than cook, clean, do laundry, and go to soccer games.) The nature of my research was personal. I really wanted to know if I could have one.
A mental orgasm is just what it sounds like: An orgasm that's achieved without any physical stimulation. One truly scientific study, done by real scientists using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), found that the physiological effects (heart rate, blood pressure etc.) of a mental orgasm were the same as a physical one.
Okay. Sounds good to me. I love being the guinea pig.
In order to do my research, I went upstairs to my bedroom, locked the door, pulled a book of erotica short stories out of my secret hiding place, and settled down on my bed. I had told the kids, all three of them, that I had a headache and was going to take a nap. And was not to be disturbed.
Everything was fine for awhile. I was reading about Cindy doing the housework naked when the buff, shirtless yardman saw her through the sliding glass doors. She ran upstairs to be able to watch him without him seeing her, but when she looked down from her bedroom window, he was looking up at her and stroking the bulge in his ...
"Mom! The UPS guy is at the door." (I've told them to never open the door for strangers.) "Mom, you need to sign for it." Okay, not a good time to try to conduct research.
I'm going to try again when the house gets quiet. Like when all the kids go to college. Or maybe just tomorrow morning after they've all gone to school.
All in the name of science.
Have you ever had a mental orgasm? Was it as good as a physical orgasm?
Image via David Masters/Flickr