When Men Ogle Other Women: Do You Kick Them or Join Them?

Jennifer Cullen
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Two women with short shortsYou're walking down the street with your husband or boyfriend having a serious discussion about global warming and you notice that he's stopped holding up his end of the conversation.

He's staring at something. Or, more accurately, someone.

Your eyes follow his and land on a long-legged, stiletto-wearing blonde woman with her 34DDs stuffed into a white tank top and her rear end hanging out of her short shorts.

What do you do?

  1. Have no reaction to his eyes being glued on the woman, pretend that he's still listening to you, and keep talking.
  2. Slap him silly and yell, "Hey, I'm talking to you. What am I, chopped liver?"
  3. Look at the woman he's looking at, wink, and give him an elbow in his side saying, "Hey, look at her nice rack."
  4. Talk about something more interesting than global warming. Like how erotic literature is saving the publishing industry.

Ten years ago, I would have picked option number one. I was a little insecure, with both myself and the relationship I was in. His actions would have upset me but I wouldn't have said anything about it. I didn't like confrontation.

If it happened today, or even in the last five years, I would go with number three. When my husband looks at someone, male or female, it doesn't bother me or bring out any insecurities. I look too. I call it people-watching. Though I do draw a distinction between noticing somebody and staring at somebody. Staring becomes leering, which is vulgar. 

I realize that I may be in the minority. I know many women who think it's insulting both when a man looks at them and when the man they are with looks at someone else.

But there is a theory out there that blames high levels of testosterone for a man's need to check women out. The testosterone interferes with the part of the brain that controls impulses. So basically, it's not the man's fault.

I call flag on the field on that theory. Men don't check women out because they can't control their impulses. They do it because either they like what they see and want to implant the image in their mind to use later when they're alone, or, like me, they're just interested in what they're looking at.

Whatever the case, I definitely don't care if my husband looks. Though option number four might be my new way to go. Talking about erotica is better than throwing an elbow into my husband's side any day.

What would you do?

 

Image via FaceMePLS/Flickr

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