5 Ways Porn Makes Men Bad in Bed


If you believe porn, men need only do two simple things to send a hot blonde like Jenna Jameson into orbit. In reality, we women know better.

The porn industry has done many bad things, but it has also created a generation of men who are less hot in bed, according to an article on Fox News.

And for that, it cannot be forgiven.

The writer, Ian Kerner, goes on to say that frequent masturbation can harm a man's libido and make him crave a harder touch that sex can't provide.

For women who worry porn sends a message that they're inadequate, Kerner threw them a bone (pun intended):

What women should know is that for many guys, porn is comparative to a day at the spa: It feels good and relieves stress. Or, think of it as a quick, little treat -- kind of like scarfing down a bag of gummy bears in the middle of the day. It doesn't mean we're not interested in having "a real meal" with the woman we love, but sometimes we're in the mood for a snack. No big deal.

Well, great.

Look, I like erotica and I like sex toys and I like some porn, but most porn is really made for men. So, here are some reasons Kerner missed for why porn makes men bad in bed:

The oral (on women) is bad:

No woman wants a man to bury his head in her crotch and shake it like a wet dog. I see this move over and over, and like a man watching the Super Bowl, I find myself shouting at the TV: "NO! That is NOT how it's done."

The blow jobs are BS:

Maybe there are some women who get majorly turned on by going down, but the vast majority of us do it as favor or do it as a means to an end. All the heavy breathing and eye contact are for the male's benefit, so if it looks like the porn princess is getting off on it, it's probably because she's paid to do so. Or, as Samantha in Sex and the City once said: "Honey, they don't call it a job for nuthin.'"

Women do not come in five seconds:

In porn, it seems the man enters the woman and five seconds later she's moaning and groaning. Um, nope. Not even. We need a little cajoling, a little help. Even five minutes might be pushing it a little. This is also why I'm anti-faking orgasms. We women need to give men some clue and that doesn't help them.

Women do not want fingers shoved violently at them:

The whole "Harder! Harder!" thing seems to have come from porn and while that kind of sex is nice on occasion, it isn't what we want most of the time. Half the time, I'm watching what the men are doing in porn and thinking "Ouch! Her poor vagina!" I mean, seriously. Who wants that?

Our bodies do not look like that:

Most of us do not have boobs that stand at attention and do not move when we are on our backs. Most of us do not have black roots and blond hair and unlined tummies and gravity-defying rears. We look like real people with lines and blemishes and scars. And that's what real sex is all about. If you're expecting a blow-up doll, please have sex elsewhere.

What are the other ways porn lies?


Image via MShadesFlickr

sex, erotica


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MomIWant MomIWant

How about the expectation that if a man looks at us, we are ready - no foreplay needed?  BTW, "shake it like a wet dog" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - SO TRUE!

nonmember avatar Leigha

Um...overgeneralizations, much? Some women really do like giving blowjobs (and yes, can get off--or come close--from it), some do get off really quickly from sex, and some do like it rough (I'm not sure if you meant fingers or actual sex because your subheading and paragraph seemed to contradict). In fact, some even want rough sex most of the time, not just "on occasion."

Maybe the biggest problem with porn, and this list, is the assumption that all women like the same things.

Cindy Gallop

Heh heh. And this is precisely why I launched www.makelovenotporn.com - with this talk at TED 2009:


nonmember avatar Ian Kerner

These are great comments, but just to be clear: my original article did not focus broadly on porn and its implications, but rather that many men who use porn regularly develop an "idiosyncratic masturbatory style" which does not approximate sex with a real woman and therefore makes it difficult to stay aroused and/or ejaculate during sex. The writer of this piece quoted a piece of the article which was used to set up the issue that sometimes porn is a problem in a relationship and sometimes it is not. It's a big issue, with lots of dimensions -- for more on men and porn problems, there's quite a bit of info on my blog at www.goodinbed.com -- thank you --ian kerner

niami... niamibunni

Sex tactics used in porn certainly don't work with me. The sex sucks. Zzzz.

Sean Murphy

Wow, you mean not every guy has a 10" penis? I am shocked... Shocked and appalled.

nonmember avatar Steve

Uhm i am a frequent user of Porn and I love to bury my face in my gfs crotch. Why? because the only thing that gets me really off is getting her off.If your partner shares that sentiment you are in for great uninhibited sex. And a blow job is not a job if done properly. And if as a woman you want it to be enjoyed by men you are kindly advised to acquire some skills on that.

Porn is something else and for masturbating. And most man can very well differentiate otherwise the sales of ball gags and anal plugs would outnumber those of the i-Phone by a margin.

nonmember avatar Maggie

I'm as curious as the next person and I've yet to see any porn that was actually arousing. Gross, is the first thought that comes to mind, why do they hate women, why does no one have a real orgasm and what is men's fascination with anal sex??


inbed inbed

I don't get the whole fast, banging away like a jackhammer thing.  It's as though everyone involved is getting only 40% of the stimulation they need so they have to pound away to make up for it.


in bed with married women





nonmember avatar Whynot

Totally solid, except the part about bodies not looking like that. And even that only partly. The part about the plastic surgery is on track but the rest is nonsense. Over half the people in the US are overweight and this "real people don't look like that" anti-obsession certainly doesn't help.

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