How to Keep Your Breakup Classy on Facebook


Facebook in a relationshipIt's inevitable that the minute your Facebook status changes from "in a relationship" to "single," the predators will pounce.

Usually to bash your ex.

Sometimes to ask for his number.

Living our lives on Facebook, a friend recently told me it was easier to just change her status than to actually call everyone she knew and say, "Hey, we're splitsville."

So how do you keep it from turning into a bashfest? Especially when you have kids who might see what people are saying about Mommy or Daddy?

A couple I care a lot about recently came to the tough decision to call it quits, and they opted to both put up the same status. At the same time.

Here's the basic example (with some pieces redacted to protect them):

It may come as no supprise [sic] to many of you, but ? and I are seperating [sic]. This has been a long time coming, and is not easy on either of us. We both respect each other and are wish for the best. Many things still need to be worked out, and this won't happen over night. Please respect us both in this difficult time. She is still my best friend.
I was heartbroken to read it -- the "still my best friend" part literally moved me to tears -- and I left pretty much the same message on each one's wall, "We're sorry for your sakes to hear this, but we love you both and wish you the very best."

But I was impressed by their decision to put out something so classy.

They showed a mutual respect for one another. They encouraged people to monitor their own reactions. And they politely asked for time.

They have two young children who don't need to hear in a few years that Daddy was calling Mommy a whore or Mommy was saying Daddy had a small penis.

What's more, Facebook postings are becoming a big part of divorce proceedings. The American Bar Association calls it the "unrivaled leader" for evidence against a spouse, so this is an extremely smart move on their part -- to nip in the bud any comments by anyone that could be used against them in case this separation proceeds to divorce status.

Have you ever had a breakup play out on Facebook?


Image via Facebook

marriage, breakups


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KatieP. KatieP.

I think even a status update like that is a little to drama-y. You can hide your relationship status so no one sees it, fb does still say you are now single but you just delete that and no one is for the wiser. In our case all of our close friends and family knew from us and those who did not know (co-workers, old college classmates etc)- well it was none of their bussiness. Its been a year and I have just started telling coworkers outside of my circle of friends. Same with him as we work together. I think after a few years when I get back into the game I will unhide it and show divorced but not yet. At that point if someone has the audacity to comment on it I can be like ummm yea 5 years ago (and under my breath - and you showing how little class you have by commenting on that is why you were never close enough to me to be in the know when it happened) and how did our coworkers not know? well at work we are still very civil, PDA at work was always a super taboo for me so we just show up do our job and thats it, being professional means that people should not know by your behaivor whether you are in a relationship with someone or not- whether its the part where your super happing and engaged or the crappy part where you are figuring out who gets the piano our friends at work knew but they kept their mouth shut

Walke... Walker101

Yep there are definite ways to make sure it is hidden so that others don't see it.  You can even go hide your relationship status in the privacy settings.  Then make the split from the soon to be ex.  That is what my ex and I did just this January.

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