Our world was rocked yet again by the news that sexy spy Anna Chapman was dating a puffy old dude. Okay, so he had “deep pockets and influential friends.” Shades of Tony Soprano, we guess ... but blech! Especially since she was just one of his hottie harem!
Call us crazy, but we've taken a shine to the 28-year-old mystery girl. And we hate to see her waste her time with a creepy old horndog. So without further ado, here are our picks for her dating pleasure:
1. Curtis Stone
She loves restaurants and eating out, so why not date a celebrity chef! Curtis Stone, the hottie who accosts women in supermarkets on his TLC show Take Home Chef, is about as simmer-y as they come, and he surely has as many chef-pal hookups as the old dude -- without the man-boobs.
2. James Franco
He grew up a scrappy Jewish kid and he’s surely got as much bank as the Jersey gangster. And he’s way more interesting, what with his undergrad degree from Columbia, his conceptual-art stunts like appearing on a soap opera for no good reason, his hilarious schtick on FunnyorDie.com ... if it’s the Chosen People she likes, this is as good as they get. (Yes he is. YES HE IS. LOOK IT UP!)
3. Zinedine Zidane
He was born in Casablanca, then lived in France. Okay, so his family got to France by way of Algeria, but that is easily as hot. And he’s only 38 and super-fit. Stumped about who the heckle I’m talking about? He made waves during the last World Cup when he head-butted a guy during one of the final games and got ejected. Tasty, tasty anger issues plus millions in sponsorship deals? Come on. He’s only a little bit married.
4. Mark Zuckerberg
He’s a business success story and the world’s youngest billionaire thanks to a little invention called Facebook. There’s no door he can’t open for Chapman. Should be easy for him to contact her, since he’s got all her private information, right? I "Like."
5. John Mayer
She likes to get kinky and, okay, so he makes our skin crawl, but the creepy crooner has definitely made a name for himself turning seemingly innocent female celebs into simmering sexpots. And she’s used to being with a guy who kisses and tells, since it’s her ex-husband who spilled the beans on her naughty habits.
The point is: Come on, Anna! Date at least within your generation. There has to be a guy out there who’ll turn you on with more than his wallet!
Who would you like to see Anna date? Tell us in the comments!