Justin Timberlake's Tequila = War and Oral

April Peveteaux
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justin timberlake's tequla commercial
Aggro Tequila
A new ad for Justin Timberlake's 901 Silver Tequila does not tell me how smooth his vanity brand of liquor tastes, or what one might mix or spritz around the edges to make a perfect cocktail. Or even how much fun it is to have a night out with your friends while drinking 901 Silver Tequila.

No, Justin Timberlake's new ad for tequila tells me that if you're a hot woman, you should compare defending your empire with making sure your cake doesn't fall apart (huh?), and if you say it while walking around in an aggressive manner, a man will fall to his knees and pleasure you, orally.

Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself:

Good idea, poor execution? I'm trying to see where Timberlake might have been going with this. Tequila = sex. Okay. But why throw in a monologue one might hear from your 12-year-old cousin during a game of RISK? And why is there zero foreplay before the man drops and gives her cunnilingus? Not even eye contact!

Rather than making tequila sexy, it scares me a little bit. If I drink 901 Silver Tequila, will a man in a tuxedo throw himself at my crotch? I'm not sure if I want that.

I think I'll stick with Honorable, it always helps get me better action than angry oral.

Do you think this commercial is completely insane?

 

Image via Wally's Wine and Spirits

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