I've always been a firm believer that, even if both are attracted to each other, a girl and a guy can just be friends. My belief was put to the test last night, when I met up with a friend whom I haven't seen in months.
We first began our relationship when he got my number in a bar. Clearly, going the romantic route here. Went on a couple of dates, but I was not in a good place at the time, having just come out of a really really bad relationship. However, we loved each other's sarcastic personalities, and decided to remain friends. Which we did. Of course, our looks didn't change, but we managed to sweep our physical attraction for each other under the rug. Or bed. Whichever.
Fast-forward about a year and countless outings as "just friends" later. I hadn't seen, oh let's call him Steve*, in about three months because of busy work schedules, friends in town, etc., etc. We finally managed to get together for dinner last night. And everything was, for the most part, normal, except I started noticing a few things that were different. He kept touching my arm. Then he suggested that we "get outta here because this bar is loud." Then, much to my resistance, he paid for dinner. And then it dawned on me:
This is not a friendly get-together. This is a date!
Well, crap.
As we were strolling around my neighborhood, I was just waiting for it -- the inevitable kiss. Sure enough, like clockwork, Steve* leaned in as we reached my front stoop.
Not that I wouldn't like to date this guy, he's fantastic. Hell, I tried to before. But now it's different. Now we've grown into really great friends, and I'd be risking a great friendship for something that may just end up being a casual fling. Is that worth it? Nearly 24 hours later, I'm still trying to figure it out.
I realize that the best relationships often stem from friendships, but we haven't been best friends for years and years, so I'm not sure if, heaven forbid we did try it and it didn't work, our former friendship would be strong enough to combat any messiness that a relationship might leave behind.
*Name changed so my friend and possible future boyfriend won't hate me.
Have you ever had a relationship that began with a friendship? What was your experience like?
Image via scragz/Flickr
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Comments 7
Yes! My husband and I were friends for two years before we even considered dating.
Just make sure you like the shape of his mouth. I figured out pretty long ago that you can have all the chemistry in the world, but if the mouth shapes aren't compatible, nothing is.
So, if you think about the best five kisses of your life, and all five guys have full lips, it's not worth risking the friendship on a skinny lipped guy.
Yes! My husband and I were just friends since the age of 7 (and he was 10). And before we were ever an item, I dated another really good friend. Things didn't work out for us due to a job change that created distance, but he is still my best friend to this day! So try it!
I was trying to get my guy since DAY 1. Well, 6 years later of "just friends" and I've finally got him ^_^ sometimes it IS worth the risk. You will always wonder what could've happend and it will torture you. Friends come and go, it's worth finding out instead of him being "the one that got away".
My husband & I were friends first & we have been married for 11 years now!