A little pillow talk can equal a lot of nookie!We talk a lot about how important “date night” is to a marriage -- hire a sitter, get gussied up, leave the house, and (allegedly) reignite your relationship by reminding yourselves of your pre-marriage days. And it’s true! Date night is the deal. But it’s not always so easy to do, especially if you’re feeling broke like a joke and tired like a ... shmired. (Sorry. Too tired to rhyme, myself.)
But that doesn’t mean you can’t do steady maintenance on your relationship. In fact, according to relationship experts, all the sexy lingerie in the world won’t give you the intimacy boost of a simple, calm, daily conversation -- about yourselves, not the kids, your jobs, or the house.
Why don’t you ... schedule a 10-minute check-in chat?
I’m a firm believer in the magic number 10. As in minutes. When my husband moans about how hard it’ll be to get the house clean, I tell him: We don’t tackle it all at once. Ten-minute spurts when we can find them -- just the kitchen table, just the living-room floor, just the bookshelf -- will get the place looking livable without our having to schedule some horrible weekend o’ drudgery.
Turns out I’m not the only one who believes in this theory. Relationship experts say that if you make time to chit-chat every day, but banish discussion of the mundane details, you’ll shore up your marriage against the erosion of annoyance that is such a sex-killer.
Pick topics out of a hat: Who’s the weirdest dresser of your friends? Where would you go on a fantasy vacation? What do you think your secret superpower is -- finding parking spots? Predicting birth-weights? Or ask about something you know each of you is really thinking about, but not bringing up -- does anyone care about soccer now that the World Cup is over? Did your mom annoy you in that last phone call?
Both men and women have one simple wish in relationships: to be heard, noticed, appreciated, and understood. A single sympathetic pat on the back can be as sexy as a thousand smoldering gazes. Make time each day for your “us-time” chat, and see if, after a week, you don’t both feel more attracted to one another.
Do you think this would work for you? Have you tried something similar? Tell us in the comments!
Image via Jane Rahman/Flickr