Dirty Letter Writing Made Easy

April Peveteaux

dirty candy heartWe've lost the art of letter writing, haven't we? While you can certainly send suggestive texts to your hot number, you run the risk of a forward that takes about 3 seconds of your paramour's time.

Sending a dirty letter through the mail has the added benefit of surprise. You have no idea when the subject of said letter is going to be opening the mailbox and (hopefully) dropping everything and racing to your boudoir.

How To Do Things (not to be confused with the How To Wiki) has a short, easy and totally doable list of things to keep in mind when writing down your nasty little fantasies for your boyfriend. Feel free to sub "girl" and/or ignore the lipstick and perfume comments if that's more your style:

  1. Picture your boyfriend. When you are writing a letter to your boyfriend, picture him. Think about the smile on your partner's face as he goes through your letter.  Imagine that you are next to him as you think about what you want to say to him.
  2. Get yourself into the groove. Get yourself in the mood to write something dirty to him. Wear the underwear he likes on you. Put on some perfume  or even lie down on your bed and fantasize about him. This makes the emotion you put down on paper more real.
  3. Be honest. Honesty is the best policy when it comes to writing a dirty love letter. Tell him how you feel. He will like it that you are honest to him. If you really want to spice things up, include a dream or a fantasy you have of him. Remember we are looking for honesty and intensity here. Don't go overboard, though. Although you aim to get him excited about you, you don't have to get too pornographic. Use the words "I" and "you" a lot. This will give him a sense that you are there with him when reading the letter.
  4. Write legibly. The worst thing that can happen to a dirty love letter is when your boyfriend asks help from a friend to decipher it. It isn't only embarrassing for you, it is embarrassing for him as well. You don't want him to misread, "I miss your touch" with "I pissed your couch."
  5. Put something from you in the letter. You can dab on some perfume to remind him of your scent or you can add some red lipstick.  You can even insert a copy of your picture in there. This will remind him of you and puts in you into the thick of things.


Image via cryptogram

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