Do sex and orgasm go together like peanut butter and chocolate? There's no denying that both do taste great together (unless you are allergic to peanuts). But you could have one without the other, right? Right?
I don't think you have to have an orgasm in order for the sex to be good. Just like I think orgasms without sex are good (hello masturbation!). I love an orgasm as much any nympho, but I think there's more to sex than just la petite mort.
Sex is intimacy. Closeness. Bodies moving together. Sweat -- oh it's good when there's sweat. Sex can make you feel dominant, submissive, passionate, in love, in lust, ravenous, happy, or even make you want to cry. But it doesn't have to be punctuated with an orgasm.
In fact, if we stress so much about coming, it may be just the thing to make us not have an orgasm. Little Miss O can be illusive sometimes, can't she?
I think so many of us worry too much about the orgasm that we are actually taking the pleasure out of our rolls in the hay. And did you know that the majority of us cannot orgasm from sex alone? Yep. About 70 percent of women cannot orgasm from vaginal penetration.
I do think sex is awesome with orgasm. The build up, the release, the bliss, the cuddling as your body shudders and comes down from that natural high. No disputing the satisfying feeling of that. But for those of us who don't reach orgasm from sex, even with added stimulus like sex toys, masturbation, or direct clitoral stimulation, it can still be good sex. I'm not saying to stop trying to have an orgasm -- please do, do all you can to reach your sexual summit (sounds so mountain woman, doesn't it?). But we need to stop worrying about when we are going to orgasm in order to orgasm.
So let's not freak out if a sex session ends for us without climax. Let's instead find bliss in the intimacy of the act. Because if we work ourselves up about it, we'll work ourselves out of that pleasure for the next time.
Now if we could only get men to think the same way.
Do you think sex is only satisfying when you have an orgasm? Have you had good sex without the big O?
Image via bbaunach/Flickr