How to Break Up With a Friend

April Peveteaux
4

how to break up with a friendBreaking up with a friend may sound ridiculous, but chances are you've either had to do it or really, really wanted to at some point in your life.

As we know, girlfriends are more complicated than boyfriends, so tossing a lady out of your life isn't as simple as changing your number after a particularly bad date. (Umm, not that I've ever done that before. Ahem.)

We also don't require as much from girlfriends as we do a romantic partner, so sometimes the friendship lines can be fuzzy, and it's hard to tell if it warrants a break-up or just a change in the dynamic. But once you realize the friendship you're in is more draining than sustaining, it's time to let go.

Here are three options depending on the type of relationship:

1) The Long Goodbye

If you have a friend you don't see very often, but when you do, you find yourself wondering why you aren't doing a better job screening your calls -- you can play it subtly. If you beg off the backyard BBQ for 12 months in a row, well, she'll get the picture.

2) The Negotiation

Say you love being in the Jane Austen book club with your friend, but you can't abide another drunken night of being her winglady. It's time to offer counter activities when your buddy calls you up with a Ladies' Night invite. Simply say, "I can't go out this weekend, but I'd love to grab a coffee and discuss The Help. Are you free Saturday morning?" If she isn't easily guided, be honest and tell her that late night romps are just not how you want to spend your time anymore. But reassure her you still want to hang in non-hangover-inducing ways.

3) The Frank Talk

Someone who has been an integral part of your life deserves to know why you're not catching the latest flick together anymore. Even if your discussion goes the way of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, you have to be very clear about why you can no longer have this person in your life. Especially if it gets crazy -- simply state your case and leave. Best to have this talk in a neutral zone so you don't find yourself trapped without an exit.

Have you ever had to break up with a friend?

 

Image via Hot Rod Homepage/Flickr

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