Wait, why'd you call me "tiger"?Researchers are experiencing shock and awe over a recent study from Kwantlen University in Canada that seems to find that lovers who describe themselves as selfish have partners who describe themselves as satisfied. This, they say, shows a startling conclusion: Selfish lovers are better lovers.
Listen, people, I was a horny 22-year-old myself, once upon a time. And I can see through this study like you could see through my Betsey Johnson baby-doll dress (guaranteed results in the early ‘90s, and I’ve got the lipstick-case notches to prove it).
Here’s how I think these results came about, and it’s not what these researchers concluded.
The study worked like this: Couples of different ages (30 aged 18-25, 30 aged 30+) were asked (a) why they have sex and (b) whether their partners satisfied them. The study found that, surprise-surprise, younger lovers gave reasons like “I have sex because I’m horny and it feels good,” while older lovers said things like “I have sex to connect with my partner and make her feel good.” Yet the younger lovers reported more sexual satisfaction across the board.
Their dubious conclusion, from this, is that being selfish somehow leads to the sexual satisfaction.
My less-dubious conclusion, looking at the numbers, is to point a few things out to these researchers:
All this to say … researchers, use your heads. Reporting self-satisfaction is not the same as being self-satisfied. I don’t quite know how to fix the study, but that’s your job. My job is to be snarky and really embarrassingly self-revelatory about the whole thing.
What do you think about this study and its results? Were you more satisfied in your early 20s, or now? Why do you think? Tell us in the comments!