Sex Secret: My Husband and I Made a Sex Contract


Disagreement over sex
Locking horns over lovemaking?
Everyone has a dirty little secret and this is a safe place where we can share them (anonymously, of course). Go ahead, spill. We won't tell. (No, this isn't me! I said it was anonymous -- my lips are sealed!)

This Week's Confession:
After the birth of our first child, my libido plummeted. Things went from bad to worse in my relationship, and my husband was accusing me of abandoning him. So I made a sex agreement: Twice a week, I’d do it, whether I felt like it or not. It sounds sort of brutal, but I love him and didn’t want to lose him over sex. And it turned out that once I got started, I always felt better. Pretty soon we didn’t have to schedule it anymore, and after we had our second kid, it was easier to get back on the horse. Now we have a good sex life and I’m glad we stuck to it. But I know it would have sounded pretty weird to my earlier single self. -- Anonymous


Did you ever make a sex commitment? Did it help?

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love, marriage, sex, sex secret


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APeve... APeveteaux

I think this is a great idea. There are times when your libido does not match your partner's (and vice versa). Instead of abandoning sex altogether, which is just a really bad idea, faking it until you  make it is a great way to maintain the connection.

my2.5... my2.5boys

I wish I could have gotten away with only twice a week. I had to promise my husband every other night, after our second son was born. But it worked, and it helped us keep connected until things smoothed back out for me. 


Buggsy Buggsy

But what if the reason your not having sex is that your husband is to busy looking at other women in front of you? It makes me feel like I'm not good enough... Long Story!!

nonmember avatar Jim

The truth is: men want to stay at home.  They don't want to go with one nite stands and all that.  They want the woman they fell in love with to re-appear every once in a while, like two or three times a week.  I realize that jobs, kids, and responsibilities make it tough but when we make a vow to keep only unto you then we are bound and the only choices we have are you or alone with a playboy.  For me, I would rather spend time with the one I love.

nonmember avatar goodassgurl

I have to say that I've had a plumet in sex drive lately, but its just the initial stage that I have trouble with. I never feel like doing it, but once I start, I wonder why I didn't feel like it. I guess thats just a difference between guys and girls.

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