Confession -- Mommy Likes to Sleep Alone

Love & Sex 17

Sleeping alone
I know I'm not really supposed to say that I like to sleep alone. How unromantic of me, right? And yeah, I get that admitting that I prefer to sleep by myself than with someone else in my bed doesn't sound that great.

But it's the truth.

I like being able to spread out and sleep right in the middle if I so please. I like being able to sleep on my back or my stomach with my hands out and not have to worry about bumping someone.

I like a night with no dutch ovens or the toenail scrapes or the elbows to the head. Unintentional ones, of course.

Sure, the sleeping together is lovely for awhile, when you don't have kids and things are new and exciting and you fall asleep spooning or snuggling or spuggling even though I swear no one can actually sleep in that position.

You do romantic things like leave the room to pass gas. Or respond to his midnight booty calls without pretending to be in a deep comatose sleep or bargaining to be the one who doesn't have to get up with the kids in the morning.

But then you have a baby, and at least in my house, that means there's been a baby co-not-sleeping (a phrase from Mom 101 that I chuckle about every time I say) with me for more months than I care to remember.

And then there's a husband who's co-not-sleeping with me due to some undiagnosed sleep issues.

So when your spouse is gone for more than half the month, you start to really enjoy being alone in your big comfy bed with tons of pillows wherever you want them and the television on until 3 a.m. still blaring The Real Housewives of New York, remote still stuck in your hands and glasses still sort of on your face.

And when he returns, it's just not the same, but you feel bad for feeling that way.

Not because you don't love him or don't want to be near him or don't miss him terribly when he's gone.

But becomes sometimes it just feels really human to sleep alone. And I'm beginning to think that it's actually a perk of this sometimes single mom gig.

So spill it moms. Do you like sleeping alone?

Photo via Modomatic/Flickr
Read more of Kristen's column, The Sometimes Single Mom

love, marriage, sex


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

angel... angelachristine

I would love it but my dd is disabled and refuses to sleep on her own due to anxiety etc.. Then ds (2 1/2) decides he wants to sleep with me too. They are both sprawlers so even though i have a king size bed i still get beat up and don't get to sleep with my husband. I hate it!

jeann... jeannesager

Love, love, love sleeping alone! Being able to throw my legs and arms out and take up the whole bed is heaven.

And whatever spuggling is, it sounds uncomfortable.

cafemama cafemama

I love sleeping alone too. And at hotels when we get a king bed and we can sleep together but apart. I just need my space!

shata... shatarbra

I also love to have my big King Bed to myself...DH and I love each other temendously however tho,  we both love our sleeping space so he has his room and I have mine:)

aiden... aidensmomma508

I would love to have my own bed.  I don't like snoring from the hubby, the son that sneaks in the bed in the middle of the night kicking me and making me squish by the wall.  my own bed sounds like a dream

Alexa... Alexandra_131

I love my S.O. but I do like sleeping alone. We both sleep better when we do. I think its great. Believe me we do plenty of snuggling but when its time to sleep the last thing I want is an elbow in my face or a knee i my back.

nonmember avatar @TKeep123

Not a mom or female for that matter, but I also like to sleep alone. Actually, I don't even like to be touched that much and INSTANTLY wake up when my partner touches me or even moves, so you can see I don't get much sleep when I share a bed.  I've done some reading (internet) that there seems to be a corelation between being a "premie" and not desiring touch....not sure, but it seems to be true for me.

   ENJOY our BIG BED when you can!


nonmember avatar Bill

Wow, I HATE sleeping without my wife in the bed...when she's out of town I have problems sleeping.  Of course, she's probably the most still sleeper you can imagine, so I don't have to worry about elbows or thrashing.  She may tell a different story.  :)  But there's something comforting having her there.  Plus, a dutch oven is no fun when you're alone.

But we've never done kids in the bed because we know what would happen.  Sometimes I'll try and snooze in our kids' beds in the morning (meaning 4-5am) to get a little more sleep for all of us and being a human jungle gym sucks.

nonmember avatar Amber

If i could sleep alone forever and ever I would be happy.  I love the bf unit, but he snores.  I love my daughter, but she twists and turns (and nurses).  Being in an empty bed for the last 6 nights has been heaven.  I don't know what I'll do once Peter goes back to work next week and I'll have to take over nighttime duties again.  Maybe I'll start sleeping on the couch :P

nonmember avatar Stef

OMG! You are soooo right.  I sleep sooooo much better when my husband is not home.  It used to be the exact opposite.  But now that I am used to it, I would rather fall asleep when he is not home, then him sneak into bed later (or just not be there at all) WITHOUT WAKING ME UP, VS. him and I going to bed at the same time.  He falls asleep almost immediately, while it takes me a little while... then he starts snoring or breathing unaturally loud!  If he does sleep at home (vs him being out of town for work), he sets his alarm for hours like 3-5AM (My alarm is set for 6AM) then SLEEPS THROUGH IT FOR HOURS!  I typically wake up immediately when his alarm starts blaring hard rock music, will nudge him and shake him and eventually scream at him to wake up or typically just say "YOUR ALARM! HONEY, YOUR ALAAAAARRRRMMM!"  He will then roll over hit the snooze  then alarm number 2 goes off (he sets at least THREE alarms) And we start over.  Then he gets mad at me when I am screaming at him to get out of bed.  Meanwhile I loose the last 2 hours of sleep that I should be getting.   This goes on usually until MY alarm goes off and I get out of bed.  Sometimes he will still be in bed when I leave for work.  Annoying!

1-10 of 17 comments 12 Last