5 Ways to Have Sex Without Having Sex


passionate kissThere are times in life that something happens when you can't have sex with your partner. Pregnancy, postpartum, injury, or even when you have your period ... if you aren't into sex when Aunt Flo is around.

That's when you have to get creative. You can have sex without technically having the traditional definition of sex.

And dare I say it's sometimes even better than sex!


Because you are still engaged, still connected, still doing something passionate together. Sometimes penetration is overrated. And sometimes having sex without having sex is a kinky way to switch things up a bit in your love den. Here are five ways to do it ....

1. Masturbate together. If one of you cannot do the deed, the other one can still take matters into their own hands while the other is watching. If you can both masturbate together, then go for it! Have you ever seen your partner reach orgasm while you were just an innocent onlooker? It's hot. I highly suggest you try it sometime. One time, he can do it. Then the next time, you can. 

2. Have oral sex. Oral isn't just the appetizer to sex -- it can be the whole meal. And I don't know about you, but I love when my man takes his time downtown. Like double-digit minutes kind of time. And if you didn't get the male memo already, he likes you to spend some time down there. It doesn't matter who is getting or giving oral, what matters is that it is done with that ravenous lust you had when you first started getting it on.

3. Let your hands and mouth roam. Kissing too often falls victim in long-term relationships. Pop a mint, make it fresh, and make out. Kiss his neck, lick his nipples, nibble on his ear, squeeze his butt -- pretend it's prom night and you had a pact not to do it in the limo but you still had to steam up the windows.

4. Watch a sexy movie together. If you can't do it, the next best thing is watching other people doing it. It will still get your loins hot and your partner will be right there next to you, getting all hot and bothered, too. Take mental notes and reenact the scene when sex gets the green light.

5. Write down a fantasy and read to each other. Words can be an aphrodisiac ... especially words written by your mate. Especially carefully chosen words that describe sexual acts they want to do with you. Explore your kinky side, even if the naughtiness will only be a fantasy. It's always hot to hear and express those dirty desires. 

Have you tried any of these? How do you have sex without having sex?


Image via ¥§•ªˆ¨ˇ© LOVE © ˇ¨ˆª•§¥'s/Flickr




To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

sheil... sheilafaye


nonmember avatar Ru

Number 5 is also really good if you're in a long-distance situation.  Playing "here's what I'd do to you if you were here right now" can be very fun and satisfying and requires no physical contact.

Ada Spann

one thur five is so true,especially when your working hand is all bandaged up,i suggest u try it ,its good clean,and stress relief.

Fista... Fistandantalus

Yeah...what do you do when #1 makes him uncomfortable, #2's "male memo" doesn't apply to him, #4 won't work because I'm a giggler and #5 is just plain ridiculous to the both of you?

gertie41 gertie41

Your examples of "not sex" are actually really sex. This reminds me of how teens insist that oral sex is not sex. LOL. How ignoranti\. Masturbating together IS SEX. Maybe #4 and 5 are just fooling around though.

There seem to be a huge amount of posts about sex here.....

What the heck....?

Wrtng... Wrtngfantasymom

Well... is this the love and sex section...


momof... momof3xthefun

Glad you posted this, as my s/o is going in for back surgery on Wenesday, and actual sex is on the not to do list for more than a month post surgery! We are both ok with the do not do list, as our relationship isn't just about sex. But I'll admit I already knew all the above and #2 is a no no on giving on my mans part, now receiving he's ok with but giving forget it. I had never really thought about #3 though, and so now I'm wondering does the mint add to the excitment?

nonmember avatar Kate

I've heard that mints cause a tingly sensation when performing oral sex. Just a little tid bit for ya

kerp1960 kerp1960

ORAL sex IS SEX!   C'mon. I thought everyone over the age of 12 knew that!  YouARE actually having sex. Same with masturbation.


This is such a stretch.

Dulce... Dulcecorazon63

Well... I cant believe anyone on here didnt bring this one up... if your guy is incarcerated you can have sex without having it through descriptive lettersof what you want to do to him/her and vice versa. It makes the mind work and keeps the post office open in postage sales. Well, if its all we got right?

1-10 of 45 comments 12345 Last