Ask Dad: Why Does He Have Oral Sex Rules?

18

no way signAnother day, another "Ask Dad," and this one's a doozy, ladies. I'll try to keep it polite, but if frank sexual dialogue isn't your thing, you might want to skip this one.

I want to please my husband and have tried. He wants me to let him orgasm in my mouth during oral sex and wants me to swallow it. How can I bring myself to do this for him without gagging?

Well alrighty then. I respect a woman who can get right to the point. So allow me to reciprocate by getting right to the point.

Is this your first time with oral? Or have you just never allowed him to orgasm in your mouth? I get the impression that you aren't sure what's going to happen if and when you attempt to do these things. If that's the case, I defer to the old saying: You won't know until you try.

Having an orgasm in a woman's mouth is the whole point of oral sex for many (most?) men. Wait, let me rephrase. Having an orgasm is the point, and doing so in your mouth is what we prefer because that's the way that feels best.

As for swallowing, I can't say I fully understand why some men prefer that. I get that it's a turn-on, just as much as watching you spit us out is a turn-off, but I know just as many men who don't care what you do with the result of an orgasm as long as they get to have one. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. (No pun intended.)

I know your husband wants you do to it. It's good to want things. Doesn't mean you have to do them. Everyone has limits when it comes to sex, and you have to negotiate these things with your partner. I'm sure there are activities that he won't do in bed. Each of you must decide what you're willing to try and what's absolutely off the table. Like all aspects of marriage, sex requires compromise and respecting boundaries. You have a right to say no to any activity with which you're not comfortable.

It never hurts to try something new, though. Again, though, only do what makes you comfortable. You have a right to say no, and your husband should respect that.

 

Have a question for dad? Leave it in a comment below or email us here -- be sure to choose Love & Sex as your topic.

Photo via  joshuadf/Flickr

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RanaA... RanaAurora

Look... from a woman's perspective...


It's gross.  It often tastes bad.  I won't continue but I'm not going to lie and claim it's pleasant in the slightest.


But... just DO IT, have a bottle of water nearby, and take a drink to rinse it away.


Think about what your husband has to go through when he goes down on YOU - not only does he get your fluids in his mouth but all over his entire face.


So, quit yer bitchin' and at least try it.

nonmember avatar Bev

Good advice here, all around.   I agree that If you have never tried it, you should do so at least once to see if you can tolerate it.   If you've given it the old college try and found it really revolts you, it's a deal-breaker and you're entitled to those, in bed & out.

chita629 chita629

oh hellllll nooo !!!!!! if you do that what else  is next... no dont do it , once you do it he is going to wanted all the time, we got into a fight all the time, to the point i had to say if you no happy with our sex life look somewhere else, iam not going to make myself  feel sick just for you to get please... 

nonmember avatar Lefty

It is all about understanding what the other wants and respecting boundaries.  If my wife says she doesn't want to do something, then I respect that and I won't press the issue.  I think some guys have gotten girls to do what they want by pressing them relentlessly until they give in.  You should stop doing this once you are married.  It can be cruel.

TeamW... TeamWinfield

I agree if you have never done it then you really don't know what to expect. As far as how he taste you can maniupalate that. Do some sexy fruit as a part of foreplay espically peach or pineapple. If you have given your DH or SO enough oral you will know when he is about to ya know; so when the time approaches clear your mind and swallow.

nonmember avatar Brenda Hobby

I have to say if you haven't tried it it's good to do it once. When my husband and I first got married we agreed that we would try everything once, if one of us wasn't comfortable with it we would not push the issue. we tried oral for the first time, not knowing what to expect, never got the opportunity to swallow. 'when he shot the taste triggered my gag reflex and blew chunks all over him. He got the message loud and clear. Now, when we do oral, he tells me just before the fireworks shoot and I get out of the way. I don't get sick and he stills get pleasure. But just like chita629 says if he gets it once he will want it all the time. On days when I'm not able to get down with my mouth I will use my hands, we call it a cork screw, it helps to have a few back up moves like this for when he wants it and you don't. Hope that helps.

nonmember avatar Lisa

ya try it but i can say i hate it the taste is gross no swallowing because i hurl as soon as it gets in my mouth every time even though it makes me sick ive tried drunk a few more times but still everytime have gotten sick so i dont do he can cum elsewhere lol

nonmember avatar Y. Robertson

 As far as swallowing goes, I LOVE going down on my husband, and get nearly as much pleasure from it as he does... (or so it seems sometimes) and no greater pleasure than tasting and swallowing the result of the great way I make him feel. The taste is really dependant on your guys diet, too much of certain things make it taste different so it's not the same for each man. My husband has a very clean taste.


Try it before you shoot it down.  as far as him wanting it all the time... just because he prefers it that way doesn't mean he's going to get it that way, he should respect your wishes if you dont want to go that far.


If you're concerned about the taste, consuming lots of fruit like pineapples, melons, apples and such make sperm taste sweeter. soda, alcohol, broccoli, smoking, drugs and some meats can make it have a more bitter taste, fishy even, and nasty for some. lol

nonmember avatar EB

Try it once! Don't deprive yourselves of trying new things (in all aspects of marriage).


You may want to try a trip to your local sex shop. They've got flavored lubes that are safe for use on your genitals. Don't use whipped cream, chocolate sauce, etc. The sugar in these items may lead to infection - not so fun! But you local Fascinations has some fun little items that could help stall that gag reflex. In fact, there is a product that tastes good and stops that reflex, making it wayyyy more enjoyable for you, and therefore for him.


Give it a try, and never stop trying new things: it is a proven way to keep a marriage healthy. (I'm talking dance lessons, trips, painting, building something, and yes, sex!)

lovin... lovinangels

I've heard pineapple and celery help with the taste.

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