Danielle Staub: 5 Things About My Love Life

April Peveteaux
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danielle staub sex tape
Photo from Splash News
The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Danielle Staub has been saturating the Internet and the gossip rags this week.

What with her crazy outburst at the benefit for the baby with cancer and her latest sex tape, it's a good thing there weren't any celebrity deaths this week or we'd have to ask them to try and die again next week just so we could mourn.

Needless to say we've learned a lot about Danielle. And thus can glean from these reports, the following five things about Danielle Staub's love life:

1) If we get involved you should know that I don't want children. Oh, wait . . . do I have them already? Oops, I forget sometimes.

2) Please bring your own camera, I'm running low on batteries.

3) I prefer the missionary position, as I'm "too pretty to work."

4) I make a funny face when I climax. Oh wait, you've already seen it.

5) When dining out, please make a reservation for eight. Have you met Danny, John, Kim G and the rest of Danielle's Angels? No? Well, f*** you. I know when I'm not wanted!!

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