Flickr photo by chegsFrom Housewives to heiresses, everyone's got a sex tape. If you want to join the masses and heat up your next romp in the hay, follow these five guidelines to get a smoking hot homemade porno.
1) Practice, Practice, Practice
Instead of setting up a camera and doing your usual Sunday night shtick, take the drama up a notch. Whether you write a script (hot delivery boy, anyone?) or just try out all of those other positions you've been meaning to, pick a theme and have a practice run. Don't worry about ruining the excitement of the recorded romp -- just knowing the camera is on will amp up your adrenaline even if you've gone through the same moves before.
2) Enjoy Your 15 Minutes
But not much more than that. The point of a sex tape (at least for the non-infamous) is to watch it again with your partner, or partners, with the intent to turn you on again, and again. An hour-long epic will get boring -- even if it's the hottest thing you've ever done before.
3) Light the Scene
Good lighting is key. My TV producer husband (but not porn, he wants me to be sure to point that out) explains the camera sucks all the light out of the room, so turn on everything to make sure you're not looking at a dark, indecipherable mess. If you're really inspired, set all the lights up in the room and aim them at your bed, or wherever you'll be doing the deed. Diffuse the light with professional light diffusers or grab parchment paper or curtain sheers -- but make sure you're not creating a fire hazard. That's not the kind of hot you want in your tape.
4) Don't Forget to Groom
You really don't want to focus on unwanted hair or a washed-out complexion when you're reviewing the tape. Show up to your filming camera-ready so any self-consciousness about your appearance doesn't interfere with your ability to let loose and have a good time.
5) Don't Lose Control ... of the Tape
While this seems like an obvious one, clearly all of those lawsuits show that it's not. If you don't want this winding up on the Internet -- whether you're famous or not -- keep one copy in a safe place (not on your co-star's computer). Never, ever, ever let it out of your sight. If a breakup seems to be looming, destroy the tape. Remember, video tape is cheap, you can always make another one.