Flickr photo by viZZual.com
Sex can be stressful, right? Sometimes, yeah. But it doesn't have to be and shouldn't be. When it comes to sex and women, we are our own frenemy.
We sabotage our own orgasms. Not his. Our own. Though sometimes his pleasure does fall victim. And somehow this makes us feel worse. What is wrong with us?
There are eight mistakes we make when making love, eight things we can stop doing to start having more fun in bed. Or in the car. Or in the hotel. And they all have one thing in common.
And that's worry.
1. We worry that we look fat. You didn't drag your man to bed without him ever seeing you, right? So if you have a few extra pounds, he already knows that. And it's probably because you keep talking about those pounds since most guys don't obsess about that stuff as much as we do. When you're in the moment, he doesn't care about your thigh jiggling, and you shouldn't either.
2. We worry our boobs are too small, too big, floppy, or not enough like those Victoria's Secret models. It's simple: Guys love boobs. All boobs.
3. We worry if our vagina feels tight enough, wet enough, or as good as other women he's slept with. You know how some people like pizza A LOT? And they will eat pizza from anywhere because pizza is pizza and pizza is good? Even cold. Even the slices left over and still on the counter from two nights ago. Same thing goes for vaginas.
4. We worry about that pimple on our chin ... or on our butt. Everything we see is magnified by 50 percent. Everything he sees is minimized by 90 percent. He's too busy loving your perky boobs and juicy thighs to see a teeny-tiny blemish.
5. We worry about how we smell, down there. I've met men who have actually said they enjoyed the sometimes musky odour that our lady canal sometimes gives off. If things are a little funky below deck and it's bothering you, then just keep his mouth on your mouth.
6. We worry we are going to queef. You know how sometimes we say if something had a better word for it, it would be less offensive. Like cockroach? If it was called a rainbow-pretty-butterfly bug, we wouldn't be so freaked out by it. Well that's not true for the cute word queef. No one wants to lay a lady fart. But I'll speak up and say I've done it, my husband and I giggle when it happens, and we continue with our jiggy. Never hold in a queef. You will not orgasm. And you will still queef, only it will be louder and happen when he pulls out.
7. We worry about how we are moving or if we are doing the right thing to make him feel good. Our minds are warped by porn. Porn isn't real sex -- well, bad porn isn't and that's about 95 percent of porn. Let your bodies move together, however it feels good. Chances are if you are having a good time and let yourself get wrapped up in the moment, he will love every second.
8. We worry that if he loses his erection, it's all our fault and we are terrible lovers. Here's a bulletin for you: Guys sometimes go limp and it has nothing to do with you or any of the seven points above. Guys worry about things, too. They worry about if they look fat, if their penis is too small, if they smell okay, if they have a dingleberry, if they can make you come, and if they are going to come too fast. All of which can cause limpus interruptus. Don't kill the mood by asking questions. Be sexy, go down on him, start masturbating -- and most likely he'll be ready to go again in no time.
Remember, thinking about anything but pleasure isn't going to help you let go and have some kinky fun. And being too worried about things won't get you to reach orgasm. So stop worrying!
How many of these eight worries are you guilty of?