Supporting Your Sweetie Equals More Time in the Sack

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Relax
Flickr photo from SashaW
I've got an idea on how to support your partner that can lead to romance. Stay with me.

Do you have an annoying task that you've been avoiding because you just can't motivate yourself? How about your sweetie -- is he procrastinating on a project that you know he could get done in a half hour with a little encouragement?

I know there are twosomes where this could come off as nagging, but for me and my husband, sometimes a little help from our friends is just what we both need. I've asked him to hang out next to me while I do a half-hour's worth of work so I can be assured I won't wander off into Internetville. He has asked my advice on cover letters and resume-writing, things he's perfectly capable of but needs help focusing on. Because we picked each other for a reason -- and that reason (well, one of the reasons) was mutual respect, we can call on each other for a little help when it counts.

Why don't you … take an evening and do a "support swap"?

Here's the key to doing this right: Don't make it about what he hasn't done lately. Make it about your need for your big, strong man to come to your aid. Or even better, make it about both of you reaching your goals. The idea is to get rid of some of those awful homework-y projects that keep you up at night. Organizing your crafts area? His ordered mind might be just what you need. Writing that recommendation for your assistant? That could be right up his alley. As you look at what you need and tally up his strengths to see where the two might connect, you'll remind yourself of the great qualities that attracted you to him in the first place.

As "payback," you can find out where you can support him best. Again, this is not about you announcing what his chore is and offering to take control of it. It's about listening to what he needs and seeing how you fit in. Subtle difference, huh?

It may seem unglamorous to spend a few hours doing mundane chores. It's like bill-paying or tax-organizing or budget-planning. But if you can work together on these tasks, you'll be more inclined to feel romantic toward each other when they're done, and you're grateful for the help in accomplishing them. And if you can't? Well, then all the cocktail-y nights out aren't going to be enough glue to keep you together. Get to work!

What do you think? Do you ask your husband for help on stuck-in-a-rut tasks? What does he help you with? Tell us in the comments!


romance tip