A Kiss With Someone Else: Would You Confess to Your Partner?

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kiss
Flickr photo by Athena's Pix
Something happened in the Sex and the City 2 movie that really had me thinking, If I was in that situation, what would I have done?

**Spoiler warning ... proceed with caution.**

While on their exotic trip to Abu Dhabi, Carrie ended up running into her ex-fiance Aidan. Ignoring Charlotte's "You're playing with fire" warning, she met him for drinks and dinner, which resulted in accidentally sharing a kiss at the end of the night even though they were both married. Oops.

Afterward, she did what Carrie always does and analyzed it for hours with the girls. It was a unanimous vote -- all three said that she should not tell Big. After all, it was just a kiss. It wasn't worth the pain that telling him would cause.

Besides the fact that the coincidence of running into an ex halfway around the world is about as likely as getting hit by lightning (twice), let's focus on whether or not you should tell. Upon watching that scene, I blurted out, "Are you crazy?! Don't tell him!" while my friend mouthed, "Yes you should tell him!" Of course, this difference in opinion was discussed over Cosmos as soon as the movie ended.

Her take on it was that you should always be honest in a relationship. No matter how big or small. But I feel people are going to make mistakes, we're only human. If you're in a committed, grow-old-together relationship and that mistake was only a kiss, which you know will never happen again, and it will do more harm than good by telling, it's just not worth it. It's going to cause them pain and ruin the trust in the relationship, which is hard to build back. However, if you find yourself locking lips with someone other than your partner again, then you should fess up -- you only get one Get Out of Jail Free card. 

Granted, I've never cheated, nor (to my knowledge) have ever been cheated on, so it may be easy for me to have that opinion since I've never experienced it firsthand.

I'm curious to hear your thoughts. Would you confess that you kissed someone else if you knew it was a one-time thing?


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Betha... Bethany2035

Wow, thanks for saying spoiler alert AFTER your giant blaring title that clearly gives away what you're talking about.

xavie... xavierlogan09

lol i know. the title gave it away. i would tell because if he finds out later he'd probably be more upset that she didn't tell him in the first place. it's just a kiss so it shouldn't hurt the relationship too much. what if a drunk guy kisses you? while your so isn't around? like if you're out with friends at a bar. would you tell him? same thing in my opinion. if it's an accident i see nothing wrong with telling thim.

nonmember avatar phone1

My bisexual boyfriend went to a party and kissed a boy. I was really hurt at first, but the fact that he told me really strengthened our relationship. :)

vaiaster vaiaster

In the event that one is in a long-term, committed relationship, why risk what you have to kiss an old fling once? Whether or not you choose to tell or not shouldn't matter; the bottom line is Carrie was messing with fire and should not have placed herself in the way of temptation. Unless she's truly unhappy, then divorce the present husband, and proceed freely. It's just common sense.

LiZzYpOp LiZzYpOp

yes you should tell, my fiance made out with a "friend" of mine one night when i was at home pregnant.  i didnt find out til months later from a friend, it almost split us up, if he would have told me instead of me finding out thru someone else i wouldnt have been nearly so pissed

nonmember avatar Confused

God, you just made me feel a little better about myself. I have always been a person who frowned upon cheating and many many persons can quote me as saying "I would never cheat. If i want to go around with different people, then why be in a relationship?" but oh well, seems that maybe I talked a little too much. The thing that happened was when I had been with my bf for 4 months at the time, I was visiting a friend who lives in Brazil. 

nonmember avatar Confused

 


I stayed there for a whole month, and had guys hitting on me every single day & night (including my friend's friends), but nothing happened and I kept repeating them I was in a relationship. The issue was that there was this guy, whom I had a lot of chemistry with, I also told him I had a bf and he seemed to back off.... wrong, one night we all got together for drinks and I started playing a game with a bunch of people (the guy included) and by the end of the game I was a bit too drunk and to make things worst, I tried out pot (first time ever) and I was angry towards my bf cause he hadnt answered my mail or facebook posts (when it was clear he had been online)... so yeah, needless to say, I cheated. We only kissed and touched a bit over our clothes, but I stopped all when I realized where we could end. For the rest of my stay I avoided the guy and whenever we came across eachother it would only be a hello and a goodbye. I regret it horribly, but I havent told nor plan to tell my bf. Why? Because theres a lot of positive things about me as a girlfriend that I know that my boyfriend will pass to see if I ever told him, he would understand how i regret it and how i would take it back, he wouldnt understand it was a mix of anger, alcohol and drugs. Now, that I have lived through the experience, I have learnt to never drink again too much when in a different country and even more so if I'm feeling angry and alone, much less try drugs in that state.


 

nonmember avatar Confused


My point is mistakes happen, but i dont think my bf will be able to forgive & forget, so im not taking my chances since it was a one time thing that meant absolutely nothing. If it meant nothing why not tell him? Cause for him it wont mean nothing.


Sorry for the long post, I had to write it off somewhere, cause I havent dared to say it to anyone here back home.


nonmember avatar Hillary

No way would I tell & in NO way would I want him to tell me, IF it's a one time thing.....BUT if this kiss is a fore-warning of something going wrong in your relationship, then tell/talk/share.

nonmember avatar confusedntrying

I am confused on what to do next, I was always the person that said cheating was so terrible. Well I am on the side of terrible. My husband has been stationed out of state since June. I have been going through a lot of stress of trying to have a child. His bf has been a friend of mine for a long time, he's going through a breakup so we have been hanging out cheering each other up during our down times. Mostly kicking each others butts when the other starts to feel sorry for themself. Well we talk an text daily, just friendly joking conversation about stupid shit. Well not too long ago we found ourselves kissing and petting. This went on for about an hour in his car. I am so upset that we did this, yes we had an attraction but I almost think the attraction was two needy people. Do I tell my husband? We have been together for 10 years.

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