Ask Dad: Why Are Men So Fascinated With Breasts?


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Flickr photo by wonderferret
Hello, friends. It's Monday, and you know what that means. Yes, armpit shaves and staff meetings, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about Ask Dad, the weekly column from the one dude with permission to be here.

This week's question:

What is it with guys and boobs? Seriously. I don't get it. Are men really that enthralled with these two pieces of female flesh? If so -- why?

Ya know, there are some things in life that just aren't meant to be understood. The duck-billed platypus. In-laws. Celery. How Charlie Sheen gets work. So trust me when I say, yes, absolutely, men are really that enthralled with those two pieces of female flesh.

No, seriously. We are. Some more than others -- or at least more obvious than others -- but we are.

As for the why, well, that's a trickier question, and one probably better answered by an anthropologist or psychologist or pathologist. There are as many theories as there are stars in the sky.

Some say the love affair begins when we breastfeed. Others say it's because we weren't breastfed. I've heard that it has to do with the fact that they're always visible but still hidden, and I've read that the attraction has to do with the fact that cleavage resembles buttocks and harks back to our caveman-mating days. (WTH?)

Who knows for sure? Not me. All I know is that every guy I know loves them, and all I can tell you are the reasons we do.

  • They're pretty.
  • They're warm.
  • They're sexy.
  • They feel good to touch.
  • They respond to touch.
  • They jiggle.
  • They're fun to play with.
  • They arouse (some of) you.
  • They make nice handles during certain activities.
  • They feed our babies.
  • They represent life and health and motherhood.
  • We don't have them.
  • No two pairs are alike.

Beyond that, well, your guess is as good as mine. My wife can spend hours in a shoe store, and I'll never understand that. But if it makes her happy, what do I care?

Some things don't need to make sense. They just are.

Aren't you glad? I am.

Have a question for dad? Leave it in a comment below or email us here -- be sure to choose Love & Sex as your topic.

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nonmember avatar Bev

I'm a straight female but I totally get it - boobs are awesome!  I like all of your reasons.  I also think it bears repeating that breasts are nice at any size - large, small, and everything in between!

CaryM... CaryMcNeal

Thanks, Bev. I agree.

nonmember avatar Frank

I never notice breasts.

cbiltz cbiltz

"They make nice handles" made me giggle.

"Some things don't need to make sense. They just are."  Yes, indeed.  :-)

myoce... myoceanwaves

My SO is in love with my breasts.. meanwhile, I've had a love/hate relationship with them. I loved them when I was pregnant... hated them when I was breastfeeding (I felt like Elsie the cow)... I don't get the wow factor but he loves 'em.. so who am I to deny him his playtime.. hehehe :-)

RanaA... RanaAurora

Good for you, Frank?

Boobs are great.

nonmember avatar anon

there is nothing else on the entire body or anywhere else for that matter that feels like they do

krybabie krybabie

I think that breasts are a representation of our womanhood. Kind of like, some women notice bulges in a man's crotch. That is kind of a measure of the manlyhood. It is kind of like, some men are really attracted to pregnant women. They think that the woman is the most beautiful. It is another representation of ourselves as women. And don't forget, most men measure a woman by comparison of their mother. I am not saying that men are attracted to their mothers, but mothers are a very big example of how a woman must behave, and I think that all of these things is what drives a man crazy. The breast are the first sign of womanhood that men notice. That is what I think...bow down

APeve... APeveteaux

I think it has a lot to do with the fact that men don't have them. I remember a guy friend in high school saying to me once, "How are you not touching them all day long?" He was seriously incredulous.

Hilarious Cary!

nonmember avatar sapphire

I guess they are deliciously squishy and fun to watch bob around.

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