Romance Tip: Make a Wish

Amy Keyishian
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Wishing Well
Wish me love a wishing well, kiss and tell ...
As the years flip past, it's so easy to get bogged down in the little details of everyday life and forget about the big-picture plans. You can get so busy going, going, going that you barely notice your tag-team partner. How's he doing? What's he feeling? Are you on the same path? Do you still want the same things?

You're not the same people you were when you met. And that's normal and great -- but you want to make sure you keep growing on complementary paths. So a huge part of couple maintenance is regular check-ins. But how to do it without getting all weirdy-pants and "what-about-our-relaaaationship" and scaring your poor guy half to death?

The answer is simple and adorable: Find a fountain (or a pond) and a mug of pennies and take turns making wishes. Out loud.

How does this help? Well, after you get the obvious ones out of the way -- "I wish we won the lottery," "I wish you were Russell Crowe," "I wish you had four boobs" -- you can actually get to some interesting under-the-radar feelings about each other … stuff you might not have realized you thought about or yearned for.

"I wish I made a better living so you could stop working." "I wish I weren't so tired all the time so I could feel more like your girlfriend than your wife." "I wish we could take an amazing vacation to Hawaii." "I wish you could see yourself the way I do, and not be so hard on yourself." Knowing your partner's wishes for you -- and letting him know yours -- can remind you about the person you married, the deeper details beneath the day-to-day annoyances.

Of course, you have to be patient if your guy is tongue-tied or can't come up with things that sound so flowery and perfect. Maybe he wishes his team would win the playoffs. Maybe he wishes you'd make him stop wishing for stuff. Don't turn it into a major drama. If this exercise in digging for dreams turns out to be less than romantic, roll with the punches and let it become funny, goofy, and ridiculous. The point isn't to make either of you feel bad -- it's to have fun and explore new ways to communicate.

Which means "I wish you'd do the dishes" is strictly off the table, sister.

Have any wishes you want to share here?

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