Ask Dad: Is It Okay for My Husband to Notice Other Women?

Cary McNeal
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Flickr photo by NeoGaboX
Today's eye-opening question:

When I'm out with my husband, he constantly notices other women. Am I wrong to be offended by this behavior? Is it normal?

Yes and no. It depends on how he's noticing them.

I think it's normal to casually notice other people that you find attractive, whether you're a man or a woman. How can you not? It's part of being human. Your eyes are drawn to things you like, which is why you'll often find me at a bakery window, gazing lovingly through the glass and drooling on myself.

But there's a difference between noticing someone and noticing someone, if you know what I mean. One's a glance, the other is an obvious "Wow, check her out" kind of thing or, worse, an attempt to make eye contact with a person. Not. Cool. At. All.

Also not cool is having a roving eye and a swivel head, noticing every member of the opposite sex like a dog at the park. I've seen both men and women who look like they're ready to get down on all fours and start sniffing butts.

It comes down to a question of respect. If your man is constantly ogling other women when he's with you, he's being disrespectful to you and needs to stop. Even if he's not doing it all the time, but enough to make you uncomfortable, he needs to stop. He might not even realize what he's doing -- it's probably more a habit than bad intentions -- but if it bothers you, he needs to stop.

You don't want to make him walk around with his eyes to the ground, of course, but he should be able to be out in public with you without being constantly distracted by other women. If not, I know where you can buy some blinders for him.

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