The Better Marriage Blanket Takes the Stink Out

Michele Zipp
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The key to a better marriage is never having to smell your husband's farts. That's what the Better Marriage Blanket people think anyway. Have you seen this infomercial?

Made of a military grade fabric that absorbs odor, this blanket can be yours for three payments of $39.95. Wow, that's a lot of money! But divorce is expensive too, so if this saves your love, then maybe it's worth it?

I say this in jest, of course. But I'm not the kind of girl who cares about some tooting under the covers. I don't encourage it, of course, but when you've got 5-month-old twins and tons of poopy diapers, your nose kind of gets used to things that don't smell like daisies or cinnamon buns. (Too bad human buns don't smell cinnamon-y.)

And even before babies, a little bomb dropping under the blankets was usually met with a laugh. And "oh Lord, peeeeee-eew." But always giggles. Never "Get away from me you gross pig. I want a divorce!"

For me, I knew my husband was "the one" when we started passing gas around each other. I knew I loved him that much that I could be totally myself and not hide it when my body had some gas to expel. I mean, it's natural and it hurts way too much to keep in!

I was also the most gassy pregnant lady ever. And my body didn't wait until I was safely under a blanket to fart. So unless this fabric was in the form of a Snuggie you could wear all the time, I don't think it's really worth it.

I'd rather spend the $119.85 plus the rip-off of shipping and handling on a babysitter so my husband and I can have dinner out. And if we fart in the bed after our dinner ... so what? We'll just giggle about it.

What do you think of the Better Marriage Blanket?

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