When Daddy Comes Home -- Rock Star Status

Kristen Chase
Love & Sex

Flikr photo by mhalon
Most sometimes single moms (SSM) would agree that the most challenging part of solo parenting is when the spouse actually returns, or what a fellow SSM coined as "The Re-entry."

And most of the time, it's not a smooth landing. Try more like Apollo 13 -- careening toward the earth at a rapid speed with a crash landing into the water.

In short, it's not pretty.

What's amazing is that even though I've been at this for over three years now, it's still just as difficult. Granted, I know what to expect, and I've come up with ways to deal with it, but the return of my husband is never easy.

Now because this is probably the hardest adjustment for sometimes single moms, I've split this up into two parts (possibly more). So first up is what I like to call "Rock Star Status."

This is actually code for "Daddy is so freaking cool because he comes home and lets us do what we want because he doesn't know all the rules mean mean Mommy has instituted to maintain her sanity and some sort of order so that we'll grow up to be contributing citizens to society but he feels guilty for being away and has no clue what the heck is going on so he decides he needs to win back our love so yay chocolate for dinner!"

Or something like that.

Do you know it?

Now if you're like me, you did your best to thwart his rock star status, only to find that it was just entirely pointless. For me, it was always so unnerving because I had actually gotten into the groove while he was gone, and in my mind, I felt like things should be easier. Heck, two more able-bodied hands should mean that my feet should be up on an ottoman and I should be eating bon bons, darnit!

But alas, I've learned that there's just no changing it. Even though you're the one actually clothing and feeding your children, or if they're younger, having them scream, "I'm DONE!" from the potty to get you to hurry up only for you to arrive, breathless, and for them to say, "Oh, I'm not done yet," he's the new, hip thing.

Daddy is all the rage!

But I've weighed my options quite carefully, and unless I want to get a migraine every time he comes home, or worse, be in charge of everything for yet another day, sometimes more, I go hide in my room, turn up the television, and let it go.

So what are some other things that drive you nuts when your away spouse comes home? I'll be sure to include them in Part 2 next week.

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