Photo from Christina AguileraSo according to The Frisky, Christina Aguilera hasn't banished sex from her life since her son Max was born. Here's what she had to say on a radio show about feeling more sexual in the wake of mommyhood:
“I think it’s important that he sees mommy not be ashamed for her sexuality ... We’re art collectors, there are a lot of female nudes around the house. Max will be growing up in a house where it’s just the norm ... It’s only weird when you shame it. I’m more confident and comfortable in my own skin. I think I’m even a more sexual Christina.”
When I saw the headline, I was kinda hoping she was talking about her own sexuality and her relationship with her husband. It's such a cliche, the loss of that connection after baby, but it's a cliche because it happens so often -- and it scares the hell out of me. I would've liked to hear her talk about getting her sexy self back and still finding ways to be a girlfriend even as she's a wife. I pretty much want to hear anyone talk about that.
But this is a different matter: Refusing to feel shame about sex and continuing to exist as a sexual being, even though you now have kids. I get what she's talking about. Just because you're a mom doesn't mean you stop being you. On the other hand, I'm not sure any kid wants to think of his mom as dirrty -- but is that being sexual or sleazy? As long as we're talking about healthy sexuality -- in the form of cuddly mom-and-dad moments, clear explanations to sometimes-embarrassing questions, and, you know, not calling the vagina a "front bottom" (yes, I've heard that) -- I'm totally on board.
But where to draw this line is so individual! There was recently a twitter flap between Jenna Jameson (porn star) and Kendra Wilkinson (Playboy Playmate) over appropriate mommy behavior. In a nutshell, Jenna hinted that Kendra's onstage booty-shaking days should've ended when she gave birth; Kendra took the high road, but many commenters pointed out that on aggregate, Jenna's history was going to be a lot more hard for a kid to understand. Yet other commenters maintained that it was "disgraceful" for any mom to go out, dress sexy, or dance in public -- many feel that assembling a crib means dismantling one's social life.
There's also the matter of public record. Does it matter if you're doing it now or if you did it 10 years before they were born? What if it lives on YouTube?
I certainly grew up with enough kids of hippies who were mortified by their weirdo parents' gross behavior. Then again, I was mortified by my parents' behavior, and they hadn't been hippies and didn't really do anything all that mortifying. Living your life for your kids' approval seems like a losing battle; it seems like the thing to do is balance being true to yourself with being responsible and emotionally healthy.
Sounds so easy, doesn't it? Let's ride Pegasuses while we're at it!