Photo by Splash NewsLady Gaga advised celibacy for her fans – and claimed to be celibate herself. It was all part of an AIDS-awareness campaign, and certainly celibacy and abstinence are an effective way to avoid any STD and, of course, pregnancy (though not always achievable, alas).
It got me thinking about celibacy. Of course, the definition varies depending on who you are. At one end of the spectrum, it can mean no penis-vagina sex, but heavy petting is okay (think: teens who want to remain virgins). For others, it means not only no sex, but no masturbation either.
Sex is a vital, important, healthy part of any woman's life. Its health benefits are well documented: when it's good, sex relieves stress, boosts immunity, burns calories (if ya do it right!), reduces pain, increases intimacy. But when it doesn't fit into your life – when you don't have a reliable partner, when you're in an emotional maelstrom and can't manage the complexity of even a "f-buddy," when you feel like you have to focus your emotional energy on your kids rather than dating – celibacy by choice can have its own benefits.
- You won't get STDs
- You won't get pregnant
- You won't have relationship fights
- You won't have to change the sheets as often
A quick trip around the Web reveals that there are a lot of reasons people become celibate. Lack of options is just one of them. For a lot of women, after a lifetime of dating, marrying, and struggling with relationships, celibacy is the one unexplored experiment. Let's face it, it's not one that appeals to me, but I'm lucky enough to be married (married people have 25-30 percent more sex than singletons, depending on age).
When I was Lady Gaga's age, I was horribly distracted by dating dramas, boyfriend battles, and a near-constant hunt for the elusive penis. What if I'd been more like Tina Fey — settled with the same guy since she was 24 and drama-averse? What if I'd somehow turned my hormones off and my focus on? Maybe I'd be an editor-in-chief!
Eh, maybe not. But the point is: Lady Gaga may be onto something. A little celibacy might make sex all the better when you get back to it.
What do you think? Have you ever been celibate? By choice or no? Was it a good thing?