Caught Having Sex: Happens To the Best of Us

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Flickr photo by RamonMartinezGlon
I wrote recently about my child catching her mother and me in a compromising position, but my BWB (Busted While Boinking) adventures started long before that.

When I was a senior in high school, my girlfriend Karen* was a latchkey kid, so every day after school we'd go to her house and, uh, entertain ourselves before her parents got home. Her folks knew we were there, but they were older and mellow and didn't seem to care.

She and I were also honor students, so maybe they assumed we wouldn't get into too much trouble alone.

Heh heh.

You can guess what happened next. Her dad came home early from work one day and busted us. We'd heard him unlocking the door, so I had time to get myself completely dressed -- what can I say, I'm a pro -- but poor Karen, who was much nekkider, got everything on but her pants.

As her dad walked in, she buried her face in her hands. I think I grinned and said "hey" to him like some kind of moron. He stopped, looked at us, then walked away without a word. Oh, the shame.

I can laugh about it now, of course, and I love hearing similar stories of people getting caught with their pants down, so I posed the question on my blog a few months back:

Ever been caught in flagrante delicto?

Turns out lots of my blog readers had -- by kids, parents, roommates, co-workers, even strangers. Here, for your enjoyment, a few of the more amusing replies I got:

"My 10 year old walked in on us about a month ago, and I pulled the covers over my head, and he said 'busted'."

"It's the first time I'm 'with' a new girlfriend. Middle of the day, a weekday. We had just finished business when my roommate, who should be at work, walks past my open bedroom door and leans in to say hi. He looks at me. He looks at her. His eyes go blank as he turns and leaves. I look at her. She tells me that my roommate is her ex-boyfriend."

"A friend told me that his little daughter caught him and his wife doing the wild thing. They didn't notice her until the little girl screamed, "Daddy! Why are you killing Mommy?!"

"An ex and I got caught going at it in his car. In a church parking lot. The ex told the cop we were 'talking.' The cop asked, 'With your pants off'?"

"My best friend and his wife were going at it with a vengeance one night, him on top, when their Great Dane wandered in and planted a cold wet nose the size of a teacup right behind his baby basket. She was showing off the bruise on her forehead the next day from when he plowed her under the pillow and into the headboard."


"When my daughter was about 4, she walked in during what had been up to that a point a pretty good romp in the sheets and told us that we were being 'too inappropriate'."

"Once in college, my now-husband and I got busy in his car. He was in the driver's seat, me on top. Next thing I know, there is a blinding light shining straight at me. The cop said he wouldn't have noticed us, except our headlights were blinking on and off. One of us was hitting the switch with some body part"


I saved the best for last:

"When I was growing up, I used to like to jump on my parents' bed because it was squeakier and it bounced better than my own. I always got in trouble, though, if I got caught. My room shared a wall with my parents room. I remember on more than one occasion hearing their bed squeaking after I'd gone to bed, but one night I got sick of it. It wasn't fair! So I yelled as loud as I could: STOP JUMPING ON THE BED!!!! Silence. Followed by uncontrollable laughter. I thought they were laughing because I'd busted them jumping on the same bed they yelled at me for jumping on! I know better now :)"

How about you? Ever been caught in the act? Tell us how it happened.



(* Not her real name. Her real name was Kim.)


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cbiltz cbiltz

My story is rather boring and anti-climactic (pun intended) compared to the stories you shared here, but I can remember being interrupted by our son one time. He was probably about four years old. He came running into our bedroom with those chilling words, "Mommy, I'm going to be sick." It was dark, and my husband and I were under the covers, so it was pretty much a non-event. I don't think he even noticed what we were doing. He was just sick and needed someone to take care of him. My husband managed to stop him in the doorway by calling out to him, "Go wait in the bathroom. Mommy will be right there." So our son ran to the bathroom while I scrambled into a robe so I could go to him. Nothing quite like a little one with the stomach flu barfing on your feet to kill the mood.

momof... momoflilangel

I've walked in on my parents more then once, scars you for life! So we make sure to always lock the door.

Oh, this reminds me of the last story:
When I was little and my parents needed that "alone time" they would go in their room and tell me that they were "moving the furniture around". So later on when I would go in their room I always wondered why the furniture was always the same. I now know why.

lovin... lovinangels

My daughter walked in on us once when she was three and asked why we were excercizing. I said, "mommy couldn't sleep."

emmi76 emmi76

Fortunately I never been caught really. Interrupted by my daughter? Hell yes and frequently. :/

However, I saw my parents once when I was about 6 and I was horrified. It was Saturday morning and back in the "old days" when us kids had to get up at 6am to watch a cartoon, I stumbled into the family room to turn on my smurfs.

I heard weird noises coming from my parents room, so I quietly opened the door and I didn't see my mom. Just my dad. Then I got scared because my mom has never left the house alone that early on a Saturday. So I woke up my older brother and said "mom is gone!" And I opened the door quietly and showed him how there was just dad laying face down (my dad was a large fellow) and "See! No mom!"

My brother started laughing, closed the door and said "Oh they're just humping." At which point my brother had to tell me what humping was.

Then I resumed watching my cartoons. Eventually my parents came out of their bedroom and the first thing I said was "Mom I thought you were gone because I couldn't see you, but Ryan (my brother) said you guys were just humping."

My mom got beet red and denied that they were doing anything. She said that dad was just sleeping on top of mommy.

Riight. Good cover story there mom!

nonmember avatar Bev

Thankfully my children are deep sleepers, because I'm not the quiet type. ;)

In high school my boyfriend and I got busted by a bunch of other kids at a party, which was pretty embarrassing. Thank goodness this was before camera phones were around!

Lokis... LokisMama

I still think the funniest one I know of wasn't me, but my little sister. She and her boyfriend were going at it in my parents house and the walls might as well be made of paper, they're so thin. So we have the various sounds bleeding through the walls, when all of a sudden I hear from her boyfriend "Shit!" She replies "What?" He says..."Don't move. I lost my contact!"

Xandr... Xandriasmommy

One time when my ex and I were just finishing up, his roommate walks in and asks, "Do you have a condom?" He just looked at him and said, "It's a little late now to be asking that."

nonmember avatar jasmine

When i was 15 me and my boyfriend used to skip school to have sex while his mom was at work and one day she came home unexpectedly... what  a great first impressoin huh???

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