Can I Enlarge My Clitoris?


Photo from Sandor Gardos
The little man in the boat: Everyone jokes about how hard he is to find, but is there a way to make him, well, taller? Maybe with a nice big sombrero? An anonymous CafeMom member asked this question.

My clitoris is small, which makes it difficult for me to get aroused and for my partner to find it. I would love to have a normal sex life. Is there a way I can enlarge the clitoris using a pump, surgery, medication, herbs, or anything else?

I brought this question to Sandor Gardos, Ph.D., sex therapist and founder of, to see what he thought of the clitoris pump idea.

Sandor Gardos says: "I've got a two-part answer to this question. One, no, you can't make your clitoris bigger. Two, and this is the good news, there's no need to. All the pump does is pull blood temporarily into the genital area. It doesn't increase nerve endings, and it's not permanent. Same with creams, herbs, and that kind of thing: All they do is irritate the area, and no reputable sex therapist would recommend any of that.

If your issue is not feeling responsive enough sexually, I'd ask this: Where did you get your idea of what's 'normal?' Porn movies don't tell the truth. Most women take 20-40 minutes to get aroused, and 40-60 percent of women say there's not enough stimulation from intercourse alone to cause a climax. That's normal, and drawing a magic bulls-eye on your clitoris won't change it.

Instead, take matters into your own hands and show your partner where your clitoris is and how you like it to be handled. You can demonstrate, or put your hand on his to guide him; it can be very sexy for couples to do this. The other things I would recommend are a vibrator and lube – to increase stimulation, and increase the surface contact. Both will improve things while leaving your equipment in its natural state."

There's not much I can add this week, because he pretty much covered it all. I'll just reiterate: Your clit is your clit, and the problem isn't the equipment – it's the pressure you're putting on yourself to respond in a way you've been trained to expect. It's much more fun to learn your body from the inside out, seeing out your secret desires and  maximizing your responses. Be confident in your body: Just like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, you already have everything you need – there's no place like O!

Have you ever thought about making the man in the boat ... bigger?

Have another sex or relationship question? Ask me in a comment below or send an email here, choosing Love & Sex as your subject. I'll work on getting an expert answer.



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nonmember avatar KS

I'm really kind of offended by this. The doctor says they're a sex therapist but they're pretty obviously biased against those in the alt community. I have a desire to grow my clitoris not because I'm transgendered or because I'm dissatisfied with my sexual pleasure but simply because I (for various reasons) want a larger clitoris. I never expected to find such a close-minded article when I googled "how to enlarge my clitoris".

It's not about whether she "needs" to and saying that she's doing it all wrong was horribly judge-y in my opinion. The question wasn't "Please tell me why my sex life sucks." She asked if it was possible to enlarge her clitoris, period.

As for the remarks about testosterone and pumping they're inaccurate. Pumping is mostly a temporary solution but with continued usage it can give small increases and stretch the tissue for semi-permanent gains. Hormones also provide results (not sure on whether they're permanent) although the various side-effects mean they may not be a great option.

Lastly I know MANY sex therapists that would recommend pumps and creams are OFTEN prescribed to FtM individuals specifically to stimulate clitoral growth so...nothing you said was right sir, pick another profession.

nonmember avatar Sally

awesome comment ks. i guess as long as you want to enlarge your breasts then more power to you. but if you want to enhance your "little man" (really, can you imagine calling a guy's penis his "big woman"??) you're ridiculous.

nonmember avatar Allie

i too am utterly disgusted at this response. i also know many women who HAVE ENLARGED THEIR CLITS. a friend of mine used topical testosterone cream and a clitoris pump. her results were permanent. I'm certainly not telling anyone to go out and do this (TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR (OBGYN) ABOUT ENLARGING YOUR CLIT, NOT THE INTERNET!), but know it can be done.

nonmember avatar Terest

I'm sorry I'm hearing this small clits are sensitive stuff and I in my experience never experienced this. Every girl I have dealt with the smaller the clit the lower the sex drive and response to foreplay. For example this year I was with this girl that had a big clit and she always wanted to have sex. I made her ejaculate with in 3 minutes of sex and always made her ejaculate more then 5 times a day. I once made her climax 10 times in a row and 15 times in one night. Now my current girlfriend has a tiny tiny clit the tiniest I've ever scene and she doesn't even know the purpose of sex besides reproduction. She almost never gets aroused, I can talk dirty, talk sweet massage, caress, cuddle, all different things and all it translates to is that's nasty that's nice that's relaxing or that tickles but not sex. It's really bugging me,I'm tired of having to jerk off while she lays next to me. When she lets me actually have sex with her I feel like a rapist because first I'm too big for her so it hurts especially since we almost never do it and she gets no pleasure. So I was thinking of maybe finding a safe way to enlarge her clit if she desires. Now I hear it doesn't even work yet in my experience the larger the clit the hornier and more sensitive the woman.

nonmember avatar Mandy

I want a bigger clit because I have penis envy. I don't want a penis, but I manipulate my clit like one. It'd be easier if it were bigger.

nonmember avatar Guest

Such hostile responses and no one actually read the article! The testosterone creams and clitoris pumps do enlarge it. No one denied that. But everyone knows that they become enlarged due to irritation. Not everyone wants to go down that route. If you do, then that's your choice. Don't insult anyone who wants to avoid that. If it worked for you, then congratulations. If you read the asker's question, she said she wanted a large clitoris to feel normal. The sex therapist had to touch on that subject because no woman should feel inadequate about her sexual organs. Her partner SHOULD eventually be taught how to please a woman. It's surprising how many grown men still don't know how to find a clit! It's right there! I thought this article was very helpful.

nonmember avatar MissJean

This information is entirely wrong. YES you can enlarge your clit, in fact they have a pump specifically for it. You may also try using a testosterone gel to your clit as well, the only side effect is that it makes you more sexually aroused.

If you choose to pump, you'll have to do it daily over an extended period of time depending on how large you'd like it. I suggest a period over a year, that's how long I have done it for and mine is almost 3 inches.

nonmember avatar michelle

I would like to know if the testosterone cream is otc...

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