Are You Too Tired for Sex?

April Peveteaux

messy bedAccording to some new statistics, one in four Americans are too sleepy for sex. The study featured in the New York Times randomly surveyed adults ages 25 – 60, which certainly would include some parents in the mix.

I would say parents of young children, more than any other demographic, are the definition of exhausted. But is that the real reason new parents aren’t having sex? After all, when you were in your twenties and pulled an all-nighter (study, work or party), you probably weren’t too tired to have sex as the sun came up. Heck, I even recall some early days with the first baby when, even while severely sleep-deprived, sex was absolutely on my mind as I felt incredibly close to the man on this amazing journey with me.

I think a more accurate description of why people refuse sex comes when the article describes the sleep issues of the Hispanic population:

"Hispanics were most likely to be kept up at night worrying about work, money, relationships, and health problems, with about three in every eight losing sleep over such concerns."

Personally, I've never been too tired for sex. Too overwhelmed with the incredible responsibility that’s unlike anything I’d ever imagined? Yes. Too preoccupied with whether the little bundle lying in the bassinet next to me is going to wake up in two hours and/or stop breathing? Absolutely. And stress does make one feel physically and mentally exhausted, but the descriptor “tired” doesn’t ring true to me. It makes me wonder when people are given the option, they say they’re tired, when in reality they are simply stressed out.

Unfortunately when you’re feeling overwhelmed, you may not be able to recognize that sex is a fantastic stress buster. One that will also make you sleep better.

Do you tell your partner you're too tired for sex?


If you refuse sex, what reason do you give?

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