Would You Rather Be "Pretty" Or "Smart"?

The popular dating site OKCupid analyzed 500,000 first contact e-mails and found that calling a woman "pretty" (or beautiful, sexy, etc.) actually decreased a man's chance of getting a response. Obviously, flattery doesn't work.

So what tends to work better?


Women are more likely to respond to men that comment on their interests or personality rather than mentioning their physical appearance. In other words, women seem to prefer that men actually read their profile instead of just looking at their photo; moreover, they prefer genuine interest in their lives to frivolous flattery.

Shocking, right?

Yeah, I didn't think so either.

I'm wondering if this finding holds true to life outside of Internet dating or even romantic relationships in general—I think it does. Most of the moms I've come into contact with on CafeMom could care less if people think they are "pretty" or not; rather, they care that people see them as honest, genuine, confident, caring women.

Do you agree? Would you rather people think you are "pretty" or "interesting" (smart, honest, caring, fill in the blank with a word that DOESN'T describe physical appearance)?

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